You Are My Everything
by milajane
Summary: I push him - shove him against walls and threaten to rip off his head. He honestly thinks that I hate him with every fiber of my being. Good. It's better this way. He can't know the truth. He can't know how much he actually means to me. It's better off him thinking that I hate him than to know that he is now and will forever be my everything. R&R please :
1. Chapter 1

Alone: that was what I was good at being. It meant that there was less of a chance of being hurt. Less of a chance of losing people you love because you never let them in the first place. Less of a chance of being at fault for someone else's pain or turmoil. Alone meant that no one had to see your vulnerability and use that against you. When you are alone, you are left with no one but yourself - which is the only person you can actually trust.

This is exactly the way I liked it. It's what I'm used to. Even with the future additions to my pack, I never let them get too close. I just can't and after all that's happen, I cannot risk allowing anyone to get too close. But no matter how much I want to believe that I am better off alone and emotionally detached, fate had another plan for me. Fate pretty much said, "Sorry Derek, you're not going to have it that easy. So here I am, throwing you another curveball so I can screw with you some more."

I curse that fateful day -the day I glanced over my shoulder to see brown, doeful eyes looking back at me. It was like everything stopped: the seasons, time and all movements. It was like I forgot how to breathe. In a world that was filled with so much confusion, hate, violence and chaos, it felt like everything was finally at peace just because of those eyes. Eyes that belonged to now the most important thing in my life - my mate.

No matter the pain or obstacles that come my way, Stiles Stilinsky will forever be the love of my life. A love that I don't deserve and can't have.

-LINE-

"Dad, did you eat?"

"Uhm, does coffee and a few crackers count?"

"Dad, sit. You are not leaving until there's actual food in your stomach."

"Stiles, I have to go in. There's..."

"I don't care. It can wait. Now, sit."

The subtle squeak of the wooden chair legs dragging against the office was met with a defeated sigh as Officer Stilinski sat down at the table. Stiles officially won that round. This was the typical routine in the Stilinski household. Officer Stilinski overworked himself and Stiles had to bring him back to reality and take care of him. Yet another quality that makes him so attractive - his compassion. The more I take notice to his endearing qualities, the harder it is for me to stay away from him. It was hard enough to deny this want the moment I recognized Stiles as my mate.

_(Flashback)_

"Wait! You said the cure comes from the one who bit you." I was kneeling in front of Peter's mutilated body, as he tried to hang on to the last remnants of his withering life.

Good. _Suffer_, Peter. I hope the pain is so unbearable that you are praying to God to just end it, because this is exactly what you deserve. It would be so easy right now to end his life, like he ended Laura's.

"Derek, if you do this, I'm dead. Her father, her family, what am I supposed to do?" I could hear the desperation in Scott's voice. He wanted a normal life. He wanted to be with Allison. He wanted to be human. So, killing the Alpha was his slim chance getting what he desired. Maybe I should let him do it? Just because I don't get a happy ending, why does that mean he shouldn't be allowed one? But this was the man who took away my sister – his sweet, Laura who protected me as child and helped raise me. This was the man who was supposed to never hurt me. This was the man who would never betray me. This man was my uncle, which only fueled my anger even more.

"You've…already…decided." Peter's words were slow and struggled. It was then that he fixated his blank stare onto me. "I can smell it on you." His voice turned into a deep growl as his eyes turned from an icy blue to a crimson red. My breathing went from calm to rapid as I felt my rage surge throughout my body. He was right. I did make a decision. _Justice. Revenge._

My claws extended as I slashed his throat open. The last thing I heard before the change was Scott's cry for me to stop. In that moment, a surge of power coursed through my veins. Every sense was heightened even more so than before. Every sound became more acute. Every scent hit me like a slap in the face as it invaded my nostrils with such intensity. When I looked to the trees, rocks and leaves, I saw every crack, nook and vein. I saw its story and flaws, which made them all the more breathtaking. Every muscle and limb in body swelled with more strength than I could have ever imagined. In a nutshell, I felt power and it felt amazing, especially compared to how weak I have felt at the hands of Kate and Peter. I slowly stood up and looked to Scott. My wolf could also feel this new found power, announcing then "I'm the Alpha," as my eyes abandoned its usual green irises for the flaring, crimson red.

Scott just looked at me, at a loss for words as his breathing became labored. It wasn't until he caught his breath did he finally say, "What have you done?"

I didn't say anything. I just continued to stare at him until he lowered his head in defeat. It was then that I felt a pull. It was coming from behind me. It was magnetic and seductive. Before I could assess what it was, my body reacted to the pull. I turned my head to be met with wide, brown eyes.

_Mate._

Wait, what?

_Mate._

Stiles was staring at me, frozen as statue a mere 50 feet away. That's when it hit me. It was like having tunnel vision; everything was blurred around the edges and only one thing was clear – Stiles. I felt my heart constrict and begin to race. Breathing became extremely hard to do, because at that moment I forgot how to. I completely forgot everything, my surroundings and the people around me. The world fell away and the only thing that mattered was Stiles. Everything disappeared except me and Stiles. That's when I fully realized that this over hyper, rambling kid was the person that I was supposed to spend the rest my life. The person I will always protect and care for. He will forever be my everything.

_Claim._ No, I can't.

_Claim, now._

No! I can't do this to him. This isn't the life he should live. This constant danger and death that surrounds him will not be his life. I won't allow it to be. Whether Stiles likes it or not, he will probably move on from this town and start a normal life. He will detach himself Scott, long enough to find a girl and live a somewhat peaceful life. He will get married, have children and die an old man, after living a full life - not at the hands of some deranged killer or creature. That is what he deserved; someone good and safe. Someone that wasn't me.

As I was having my internal battle between myself and the wolf, Stiles was still staring at me. He showed no signs of movement or breathing. A blink? There wasn't one. "Stiles, let's go." At the sound of Scott's voice, Stiles snapped out his trance. Unfortunately for me, I was still under his spell. My heart lurched at each step he made back to his jeep – each step that put more distance between us. I felt my feet shuffle forward a bit as the engine of the Jeep roared to life. Before I could jump into a full on sprint to Stiles, I stopped myself.

Stop. Let him go. You can't have him.

I repeated this mantra in my head as the Jeep drove off into the distance. It wasn't until the Jeep rounded the corner did I fall to my knees. I remained in that spot, inhaling Stiles' faint scent allowing it to consume me.

_(End of Flashback)_

I was abruptly ripped from my memory when I heard the door of the patrol car slam shut. I peered over to see that Officer Stilinski was finally leaving to go to work. I then listened for Stiles in the house. I heard his quick steps on the stairs as he made his way over to his room and then I heard the evitable swivel of his desk chair and pattering of the keyboard. Stiles capacity to remain on the computer for hours on end was beyond me.

As Stiles began his routine of Google searching, I rested my back against the house and slid down into a seated position. I sat there, listening to his movement and inhaling his sweet scent when the wind carried it out from his open window. This was the closest I could afford to be around Stiles and even though I wanted so much more, it had to be enough.


	2. Chapter 2

"Derek! Derek! Something happened." Isaac scurried down the stairs, clearly out of breathe. His heart was going a mile a minute and his eyes were wild. He looked petrified.

"What did you do?" Something terrible happened. I could feel it and what I felt was Isaac's terror.

"It's my dad. He…he…I made him angry again." I felt my fists clench. What kind of sick monster puts his hands on his child? "He was smashing plates and I was backed up into a corner. That's when he threw his glass towards me. It...it smashed above my head, but it cut me under my eye. That's when I felt myself…" Isaac was suddenly at a loss for words. He lowered his eyes to the ground, obviously ashamed with what he was about to say.

"Say it," I demanded. I need to know exactly what kind of trouble was ahead of us now.

His head shot up at my command, as he searched for the right words to say. Barely audible, he whispered "I felt myself lose control." His voice gained momentum and strength as he continued to speak. "I was so angry with him. My own father almost blinded and he didn't even care. In that moment, I felt so much hatred towards him and I wanted to kill him. I wanted to hurt him like he's hurt me all these years."

"Please tell me that you didn't…" I growled. I understand why Isaac felt that way and if under any other circumstances, it wouldn't have bothered me. But after all that has happened, it would draw too much attention to the pack. He had to learn now how to control his wolf before he completely loses himself in it.

"No, I didn't. I ran out before I did anything, but he chased after me when he saw me heal. It was raining so hard that it was easy for me to lose him in the downpour, but...then I heard him scream."

"Scream?"

"I ran as fast as I could, following his voice, but by the time I got there, he…he was _dead_."

"How?" My jaw clenched and I glared at Isaac to continue.

"His car door was ripped off and his body…I've never seen something like that. The gashes and the blood…it looked like he was barely still held together." Isaac's eyes were wide with horror and his mouth frowned in disgust. "All I know is that it wasn't human."

I turned away from Isaac, frustrated and tense. Great - one catastrophe after another. Now there was a new threat in Beacon Hills. From Isaac's story, it was viciously brutal and strong. I may not know what it is, but I know one thing for sure – Stiles wasn't safe. Before this thing could get anywhere close to him, I had to find and kill it.

* * *

Fan-_fucking_-tastic.

As if things couldn't get any worse, Isaac was now in custody, currently being questioned by the police regarding the murder of his father. They were planning to hold him overnight – on a full moon. The Argents are most likely going to seize this opportunity to kill him since they have already labeled him as guilty on account of him having claws. Oh, and let's not forget that the whack-job Grandfather is now calling the shots with this "no rules, no code" philosophy. So now, I have to find a way to get Isaac out of that cell before he shifts in front a room full of criminals and doughnut eating officers. After convincing Scott to ride out to Isaac's house, we got rid of any incriminating evidence against Isaac. Scott agreed to stay at the house and that I would go to the police station. But before I knew it, Scott was calling Stiles.

"Stiles! I need you to drive out to Isaac's and pick up Derek. You two need to figure out a way to get Isaac out of there before he shifts." I could hear Stiles sigh on the other end, complaining about not being in the mood to put up with my mood swings or "my sour wolf." I suppressed a chuckle.

"C'mon man. Just get over here." With that, Scott hung up the phone and turned to me. "He'll be here soon."

I nodded and ascended up the stairs, because I was done talking to Scott. Quite frankly, I was done trying to talk any sense in his lovesick head. Doesn't he understand that it will never work with her…an Argent. She's a hunter by nature and soon she'll realize that Scott is just something else for her to prey on. She'll only end up betraying him and then he'll lose everything he's ever loved. I guess he's going to have to learn the hard way, like I did.

My ears perked up when I heard the Jeep drive up the street. Stiles stopped in front of the house, hitting the brakes, which made an unnatural shriek. Yeah, that thing was a work in progress. Okay, I can do this. Just relax, Derek. This was the first time I had seen Stiles since that night and I wasn't really sure how I was going to handle being in a confined space next to him. I leveled my breathing and drained all emotion from my face. I walked over to his Jeep with ease and opened the door. Oh god. His scent hit me like a tidal wave, relentless and overwhelming. I had one foot inside the car and one still on the ground. I was just frozen, trying to hold on to the last ounce of control I still had.

"Dude, are you okay?" Stiles leaned over slightly, checking to see if I had injuries. He began to lean over more, innocently peering over, not realizing just how much his proximity was affecting me.

"I'm fine." I snapped. Stiles recoiled back into his seat and awkwardly stared out the window. I'm such an asshole. The guilt that washed over me was so thick, I felt like I was going to suffocate. I was about to apologize, but I caught myself. You can't change the way you act around him. You've always been this way. You need to keep your distance. "Just drive."

The car ride was filled with an awkward silence and my one-sided sexual tension. As Stiles stared intently out onto the road, I snuck quick glances at him. I studied the way his biceps flexed slightly under his layers of shirts each time he made a turn or the way his long fingers drummed absentmindedly against the steering wheel. I was most entranced by his throat. I savored the images of his Adam's apple bobbing slightly each time he swallowed or when he clenched and unclenched his jaw. All I could think about was kissing that neck until he whined lightly, signaling that I had found his sweet spot before sucking and nibbling at it. Then when I am satisfied that I had left my mark, I would slowly kiss up to his ear, nipping at the shell, and then making my way to his jaw line until I finally captured his –

"We're here." Stiles' voice snapped me out of my daydream, thankfully before I got too excited. "Okay, the keys to every cell are in a password protected lockbox in my father's office." Okay, easy enough. "The problem is getting pass the front desk." There was a young, African American officer filling her next cup of coffee, who looked tired and bored. Again, easy enough.

"I'll distract her." I grabbed the door handle, desperate to get out of the car before I slipped up and jumped Stiles right there.

"Whoa, Whoa. You? You're not going in there." Stiles grabbed my arm and it took all the control I could muster up not to lean into him and finally give in to these desires. I just glared at him and his hand back and forth, threatening him to release me. "I'm taking my hand off," he finally said when he got the hint.

"I was exonerated."

"You're still a person of interest," he said matter of factly.

"An _innocent_ person," I retorted.

"You? Yeah! Right!" He lightly chuckled with a goofy smirk. God, please stop doing that. You're making this so much harder for me. I gave him a sassy shrug of my shoulders, signaling that his objections were pretty much useless at this point. "Alright fine, what's your plan?"

"To distract her," I said, slower this time so he would understand. I mean, seriously, it really wasn't that hard of a concept.

"Uh huh, how? By punching her in the face? Yeah." Stiles remarked.

"Ha. By talking to her." Wow, this kid was hilarious. Okay, maybe he was but c'mon, I'm not a leper.

"Okay, alright, give me a sample. What are you going to open with?" Stiles questioned. Okay, this was getting annoying and we were wasting time. I just sighed and continued to stare at him. He sighed as well. "Dead silence – that should work beautifully. Any other ideas?"

He looked at me expectedly and I was beginning to lose my patience, so I had to shut him up. "I'm thinking about punching you in the face." Like always, my threats work best.

* * *

I walked into the police station, running my fingers along the front desk. On cue, the officer came out from the back room with her head looking down into the file in her hands.

"Good evening, how can I help…you?" She finally looked up from the file to see who had walked through the door. Her eyes lit up and her voice perked up as well as her heart rate. I was fully aware of the affect I had on women and it was time to put it to good use.

"Hi." I smiled at her, bearing all the pearly whites.

"Hi." She smiled back, surprised and fluttered by my presence.

"Uh, I had a question, uh, sorry, I'm a little thrown. I wasn't expecting someone…" I heard Stiles' huffs in annoyance, which only made me smile wider.

"Like, me?" She asked, innocently as she cocked her head slightly to the side.

"I was going to say someone so incredibly beautiful, but yeah, I guess that'd be the same thing." Man, was she gobbling this up. Only if she knew that I was actually directing these comments to the teenage boy, who was currently sneaking off to the back of the station. She was giggling a bit to herself and biting her lip, my guess trying to come off seductive. Unfortunately for her, seductive to me is a blush reddening pale cheeks and big, brown, gaping eyes that I hope never lose their innocence.

I continued to entertain the officer until I heard Stiles' heart quicken its pace and the shuffling of feet. That's when I felt his panic and fear – it was as real and immediate as if they were my own emotions. Oh no, _Stiles_. I needed to get back there. Thankfully, her phone began to ring and she excused herself so that she could go to her office on the opposite side of the station. The moment she was out of view, I ran to the back of the station to find that Isaac had already shifted. He was shoving the faux cop, that was there to kill him, up against the wall until he lost consciousness. The man lost grip of this syringe filled with Wolf's bane, which I gladly, stomped on making it a useless weapon against us.

Isaac released the man and turned in Stiles' direction, who was taking cover against the wall, behind the desk. Isaac zoned in on him - I recognized that look in his eyes. Stiles was his next target of attack, and to hell if he thinks he's putting his claws on _my_ mate. My wolf surged within me, ready to protect its mate. I approached Isaac as I growled ferociously at him until it was a full-blown roar. Isaac cowarded back until he was in a fetal position on the ground. Once Isaac was no longer a threat, I shifted back, cooling my eyes back to their usual green.

"H-how did you do that?" Stiles breathed. His eyes were wide, mouth gaping and his breathing was still a bit erratic.

"I'm the alpha," I replied, coolly. But I knew that this wasn't question he really wanted to ask. It was in his eyes. He really wanted to know _why_ I had done that. Well, because I love you...and I would never let anyone hurt you.

The faint noise of sirens erupted into the silence, which caused Isaac to jump up. "We have to go. C'mon, Isaac." I lightly pushed Isaac out the doorway, signaling for him to go out the back door. I followed behind, jogging towards the exit.

"Wait, Derek!" Stiles yelled from the room. Before I had time to think, my body sprinted back towards him. I was at the doorway when I halted to an abrupt stop. Stiles was also at the doorway and our faces were mere inches apart. _Shit_. I should have moved back until we were a few feet apart, but I was frozen. I couldn't move because I knew that if I did, it wouldn't be back – it would be forward. Stiles didn't say anything at first. He looked like he, too, was thrown off by our proximity. Please move, Stiles. Back away. I can't take this. You have no idea how hard this is for me.

"Uhm, I just wanted to say thanks." He brought his eyes up to mine, and I could have completely fallen apart right there. I inhaled deeply, trying to calm down, but that ended up back firing. His scent was different this time – it smelled like arousal. No, that couldn't be right. Arousal was the last thing I should be smelling on Stiles while I'm around. With my second intake, my initial conclusion was confirmed. It was arousal and it was practically radiating off him. I felt my claws extended, but before I could move, I sunk them into the wall that was facing me so Stiles wouldn't see my sexual frustration.

_Take him now. He wants us, too. He practically reeks of it_, my wolf argued. Shut. Up. Oh god, I have to get out of here.

"Don't mention it." I spoke in a short clip sentence, turned on my heel and ran for the back exit. But I didn't stop there. I just kept running, until I was greeted by the woods. I shifted into my Alpha form and ran deeper into the woods, needing to create as much space as possible between me and Stiles. However no matter how far I traveled, I still couldn't shake him - and that terrifed me.

_**Hi guys!**_

_**I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for awhile now and since it's summer, I finally have time to write. Yay! :D This story will stay in Derek's POV; I find it more interesting that way because it shows more dimenson to his character. **_

_**I don't know how close I'm going to stay with the plot of the show. I'll probably start deviating from the plot later on in the story, but who knows ;)**_

_**Oh! Reviews are always welcomed and encouraged. Let's be honest, getting reviews always helps to get the creative juices following.**_

_**Enjoy!**_


	3. Chapter 3

I was sitting in my black Camaro outside of the high school, when Erica strutted out of the school in her short skirt and heels with her curly hair flowing down her back, effortlessly. Most of the boys around the area began to gawk at her. One guy turned away from his girlfriend, stuck in a complete daze, even as she began shoving at him. I swear, I even saw some of them begin to drool – and she was enjoying every minute of it. I was actually glad for her. Before I proposed the bite to her, I watched her to see if she would be interested. The kids at this school were heartless and made a game out of making her life a living hell. They isolated and taunted her for something that she simply could not control. So it was easy to sway her. There was some caressing of the leg and face and a promise that it could all go away. Who wouldn't jump at an offer like that? And she did. So now, she's entitled to a bit of fun.

As she made her way to the passenger's side, Stiles and Scott burst through the doors of the school, coming to an abrupt stop. I guess that's when it hit them; she was now one of us. I displayed a cocky grin at Scott, letting him know that he, of all people, was not going to stop me from building my pack. To say he looked pissed would be the understatement of the year. Before I drove off, I quickly looked over at Stiles. His mouth was in a tight line and he was trying to avert his eyes from my direction as his head hung low. That's when I got a view of his exposed neck and before my wolf could say anything vulgar about what he wanted to do to Stiles, I drove off onto the road.

"Hey, you okay?" Erica asked.

It wasn't until she spoke that I realized that I was doing 65 in an 30 mph road, still holding onto my breath. I sighed deeply as I eased up on the gas pedal. "Yeah, I'm fine."

With that, Erica smirked to herself and crossed her left leg over her right, making her skirt hike up just a bit. She knew exactly what she was doing and the effect she now had on boys. However, she wasn't going to get me because I'm not hers to have.

* * *

I was walking up to Stiles' house for my daily, and completely stalker-like, routine of sitting outside his house in the late night hours, when I heard that he wasn't alone. Scott was pacing around Stiles' room, bitching about how I'm so evil for turning people as Stiles tapped away at his laptop…again.

"What the hell does he think he's doing? I mean seriously, why would he give this freaking curse to someone else?" Scott huffed in annoyance as he shuffled back and forth.

"I don't know, Scott. Like you said before, he calls it a gift. I think it's just a matter of opinion."

"Wha...what the fuck, Stiles? Matter of opinion?" I climbed up the tree closest to Stiles window, wanting to keep an eye on Scott because I could already hear his heart rate accelerating.

"Listen, buddy. Derek was born with this. He's had all his life to see it as somewhat of a blessing. He can control it and lead a normal life. Hell, being a werewolf is normal to him. As for Isaac and Erica, they had pretty shitty lives before the bite. They seem happier and do you want to know why? Because they are finally not powerless. So yes, it is a matter of opinion and at least he's giving them a choice, unlike what happened to you." Stiles said, matter of factly as he continued to look at his computer. He then turned his chair to find Scott with a tight jaw and clenched fists. Calm down, Scott. I have no problem taking you out, if I have to. I could hear Stiles' heart rate hitch up as he realized that Scott was becoming angry. He grabbed at his seat, preparing himself for what was about to come. Something tells me that Scott has lost control around Stiles, threatening his life, on more than one occasion. With this new realization, I felt my own rage growing at the thought of Scott inflicting any kind of pain onto Stiles. I gripped at the branches of the trees to keep my hands close to my sides rather than around Scott's neck. Fortunately for Scott, he exhaled slowly, uncurling his fingers from its tight grip.

"Okay, well that's your opinion but I don't know…I still think it's wrong." Scott replied, sitting on the edge of the bed, clearly still angry at Stiles for taking my side. About that…why did he take my side? Not that I'm not grateful that someone finally takes notice into my perspective, but Stiles has always shown a distaste in me or any of the decisions I've made. So why?

There was an awkward silence that settled in the room as their spat ended. Scott lazily looked around the room and Stiles went back to his research. I stayed up in the tree for a few more minutes to make sure that Stiles was safe from Scott. I began to climb down the tree when I heard Stiles speak once again. "Hey, Scott?"

"Yeah, man."

"Do you think that Derek was ever happy?" I almost lost my footing at the blunt question that was now hanging in the air. Scott was also thrown off by the question, blinking his eyes a few times as he tried to assess an answer.

"Uhm…I don't know. Why do you ask?" Scott asked, curiously.

"I don't know. I guess I was thinking about how angry he always is and then the other night at the station, he plastered on a fake smile to distract the officer, which got me wondering. There must have been a time when he was happy and actually trusted people. Maybe even a time when he cracked jokes or laughed. Oh my god, do you even think he's capable of laughing?" Yes Stiles, I do laugh. I'm actually stifling one right now."I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I feel bad for him." Stiles paused thoughtfully before he continued. "He lost everything…how does someone recover from something like that?" They don't – it's impossible.

_No, it's not. You now have Stiles. The only thing keeping you from being happy is you. _Oh, great. Now my wolf is Yoda.

"I guess I see what you're saying, but I always have a hard time feeling any type of sympathy for the guy." Scott sighed, becoming uninterested in the conversation once again. Stiles rolled his eyes at Scott and turned back to his laptop.

"Whatever, dude."

"I'm gunna go see if I can meet up with Allison. Later, dude." Scott said, already halfway out the door.

"Yeah, you do that." Stiles waved him off with his hand, sighing in annoyance at his friend.

I slumped into the tree, trying to catch my breath. When I walked across the preserve tonight to Stiles' house, this was the last thing I had ever expected. Stiles actually defended me against his own best friend – which was odd since he's so loyal to the kid. Then he showed concern…for _my_ well-being. However, I don't exactly know how I feel about that. Stiles _pitied_ me. You can call it my pride or ego or whatever, but I don't ever want someone to pity me. After the fire, Peter and Kate, I was still alive and going strong. So no, I didn't need anyone's pity. Still, I couldn't help but feel grateful for all the Stiles had said. Somewhere in his hyper active mind, he stopped to think about me. Think about if I was happy or if I could even laugh. I haven't had someone care about me in a very, _very_ long time. And it felt good, _too_ good. My wolf swelled in warmth, growling intently with knowing that our mate was thinking about us.

Stop it. Don't be such a 15 year old girl and overanalyze this. Stiles is a curious kid, nothing else. _Shut up, and let me enjoy this, _my wolf argued back.

I had lost track of how long I had been in that tree, because before I knew it, Stiles was settling into bed, exhaustion clear on his face. He was so tired that he didn't bother to change and about a minute after his face hit the pillow, he had fallen into a deep sleep. That would have been my cue to get down from the tree and make my way home. But instead of doing that, I found myself in front of his window, sliding it open just enough to slip through. It wasn't until my feet hit the wooden floorboards that I realized what I was doing. _Fuck_. It was like I was sleeping walk, except my wolf was very much awake for this and probably handling the reins. I contemplated about going back out the window and running home, but then I looked over at Stiles. Stiles was lying on his stomach, feet slightly apart and arms under his pillow. He looked peaceful and calm, opposed to his usual behavior when awake. Maybe I could just stay here for a little while longer. He's knocked out; he'll never know I'm here. I can handle this…at least I hope so.

I sat down on his computer chair, wincing when it made a squeaking sound. Thankfully, he didn't even flinch. I sat there for about a minute until it became too uncomfortable to be so far from him. So I inhaled deeply and regained my composure as I stood up from the chair and walked over to the side of the bed that was vacant. I sat down slowly on the bed, my breath hitching as Stiles' scent filled my nostrils. I took slow breaths, becoming accustomed to the proximity before I made any movements. When I felt that I had enough control, I slid higher up onto the bed lying down next to him. I stayed absolutely still, fighting off the urge to curl my body around his and never let go. To prevent that from happening, I put my hands behind my head and crossed one leg over the other. I closed my eyes and kept inhaling his invigorating scent, each time taking longer and deeper breaths. This would suffice. This I can handle. Wow, I'm actually doing pretty good.

Before I could react, Stiles turned over and snuggled into my side, securing an arm around my stomach as his head rested on my chest. _Oh, fuck me_. I began to panic. My heart was racing and for the life of me, I couldn't breathe. Did he wake up? Am I busted? I calmed enough to listen to his breathing, which was slow, even and deep. Okay, he's still asleep. Now how the hell am I getting out of here? I looked around Stiles, trying to devise some kind of escape plan without waking him. Stiles had an iron grip around my stomach and each time I made any attempt to move, he only cuddle closer to me, to the point where he was almost on top of me. I wouldn't be able to handle that if he did, so I had officially given up. Without thinking, I wrapped my arm around his waist, bringing his body closer to mine and leaned my head against the top of his. Stiles sighed, unconsciously, in content as his body molded into mine. I expected my wolf to pounce on Stiles at this moment, but he also seemed content with the proximity and didn't want to disturb Stiles' sleeping state. For right moment, my wolf was happy…and so was I.

I slipped out of his window at the crack of dawn, taking the extra precaution of not wanting to be caught by Stiles. Instead of running, I walked back to the old warehouse. I really couldn't muster up the energy to run back, because my limbs were sore and tense, which was weird. I didn't think much of it, because I knew I had more pressing things to worry about. There was the creature that, still, no one knew anything about and it was only a matter of time until it claimed its next victim. Then there was Scott, who was hell bent on fighting me on everything, even though the building of the pack is necessary to fight against not only the creature but also against the hunters. Last but not least, there was Stiles. I'm finding it harder and harder every day to keep a safe distance away from Stiles. I can feel myself losing control over my wolf's and my own guilty desires. How is it that I've come into so much power, more than people could possibly imagine, and yet, I'm weak at the mere thought of a 16 year old boy? Stiles is possibly the worst – and best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so screwed.

_**Hello peeps! :)**_

_**I'm so happy you all are enjoying the story so far! I'm not really sure if I like this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it. **_

_**The next chapter will be a long one and one of my favorites, once I write it xD**_

_**Oh! Thanks for reviewing! Keep it up guys; they always brighten up my day! :) So, review and let me know what you think. Like, about what's happening, what's going to happen and even some suggestions? I'm all ears :)**_

_**Enjoy!**_


	4. Chapter 4

Isaac had a determined look on his face as he in took long, deep breaths. He rocked back slightly on his heels, preparing for his obstacle. With one last heavy intake, he took off running towards me. He jumped over a metal table with ease, gaining momentum as he started running on all fours. He propelled himself over a disheveled book case, allowing him to summersault in the air. He then surged towards the wall, using it as leverage to push him off towards my direction. With one swift arm movement, I deflected his attack, throwing him to the ground. He was going to have to do a lot better if he wanted to get past me. So he tried again. However, he repeated the same movements, only with more speed, hoping that it will give him an advantage. And again, I deflected him with ease. He tried again, and again, _and again_. After the fourth try, he remained on the ground, obviously defeated as he winced and tried to calm his erratic breathing. From behind me, I could hear the faint footsteps of someone walking on the top of the broken subway car, as the metal creaked under the weight. With one hard thrust off their feet, the person flew off the subway car, I their target. However, I anticipated this attack before their feet even left the car. I turned in time to grab Erica by the torso, flinging her to the ground with a loud grunt, landing her right next to Isaac. They honestly make this too easy, which in the end, will get them killed.

I glared at them, frustrated with their stupid mistakes and tactics. I huffed in annoyance, turning my back as I begun to pace. "Does anyone want to try not being completely predictable?" I turned around to begin my lecture at Isaac and Erica, when she jumped on top of me, wrapping her legs securely around my waist. My initial reaction was tucking my hands under her thighs as she crashed her lips to mine, using her tongue to pry open my lips. Her kisses were needy, desperate and sloppy as she tugged on my hair, trying to deepen the kiss. After a few seconds, I quickly became disgusted and bored by the simple fact that she wasn't Stiles. I threw her, harder than necessary, back to the ground where she belonged. The night before I asked her to distract Stiles from coming to the ice rink, where Boyd – our new wolf, who was currently looking on as a bystander – worked as the Zamboni driver. However, while I was there to stop Scott from intervening, once again, I felt a sharp pain across my left cheek. That's when I knew she had taken my demand of distracting him to a new level by hitting him instead. I couldn't exactly outright reprimand her for it, but I could take pleasure in this sight of her grunting in pain as a result of my force.

I wiped my mouth of her saliva and lip gloss, not wanting to taste or smell like her. "That's the last time you do that," I barked at her.

"Why, cause I'm a Beta?" She answered, cocking her head to the side as she rested back on her elbows.

"No, because I have someone else in mind," I said before I realized what was even coming out of my mouth. Erica grimaced, recovering from the sting of my rejection. Isaac looked bored and uninterested. Boyd, however, smiled knowingly. Why the hell was he smiling?

"Are we done? Cause I got about a 100 bones that need a few hours to heal?" Isaac winced, sitting up slowly on the ground. I gave him a sympathetic look. _Aww_, poor baby. I knelt down in front of him, motioning him to let me see his arm.

"Here?" I asked, holding his arm firmly. Isaac nodded before I snapped his arm back over his head as he cried out in pain. "101. You think I'm teaching you how to fight? Huh, look at me! I'm teaching you how to survive." Isaac was trying hard to remain strong as I yelled at him, still holding his arm back. I released him, harshly, going back to my standing position.

"If they wanted us dead, then why aren't they coming for us now? What are they waiting for?" Isaac questioned, his wild eyes never leaving mine.

"I don't know. But they're planning something and you, especially, know that's not our only problem." I replied, staring down at him then lifting my head to the others. "Whatever that thing is that killed Isaac's father, it's still out there and it's just a matter of time until it kills again. So until I find out what that thing is, you all have to learn everything that I know…" I was walking back to the subway car when I stopped, turning my head to face them. "…as fast as I can teach you." I climbed in the subway car, ending their lesson for today. I know I frightened them, but it was necessary. They're taking everything too lightly, only seeing all of this as nothing more than a game. They had to understand that peoples' lives were at stake as well as their own. So if they wished to survive, they need stop attacking so childish and be ready for whatever I or the world throws at them.

I went to sit down, but my limbs began to rebel against me. They felt stiff as if they were paralyzed and immobile. I shook them out, hoping to rid myself of that hindering feeling. Just when I thought I was fine, a rush of panic spread throughout me. My breathing became fast and shallow as I desperately tried to cling to a calm, sane state. Dread kept into my head, poisoning each thought and planting a seed a fear that felt all too real. That's when a single thought surfaced: I'm going to die.

_Stiles. _These were Stiles' emotions. This was his panic, his fear and his thought of an evitable death. Something was wrong – something was terribly wrong. I had to find him. In that moment, I abandon my human form and let my wolf take control. I ran out the back exit of the warehouse, ascended up the stairs on all fours and crashed through the door. I cut through the woods, losing myself in my senses, allowing them to find my mate. I had no clue where my feet were leading me and frankly, I didn't care. I knew that they would lead in right direction to only thing that did matter. As the trees cleared, I found myself on the pavement, running close to the buildings, becoming a part of the shadows. My ears perked up as I heard the mess of sirens. In the distance, flashes of red and blue caught my attention, causing me to push off my legs even harder. I don't know when it happened, but I shifted back to my human form, coming to a stop 50 feet away from the site. There were several patrol cars and officers in and around the building, and there was an ambulance near the entrance. I could only see the front of the ambulance from where I was and I could barely make out a single voice. My heart was beating in my ears, deafening me of all my surroundings. It felt like I was being strangled as my throat constricted, barely taking in any air. I was in full panic mode and that's when I smelled it – blood. It was sickening and thick in the air, like a blanket of fog that latched onto you.

A paramedic exited the building, steering a stretcher in front of him. There was a blood soaked sheet covering a body. From the outline of the sheet, the body looked mangled and an arm hung loosely off the side, droplets of blood trailing over its fingers. Stiles' fingers. Stiles was dead. My Stiles, dead. And it was all my fault. I couldn't protect him. I couldn't save him. I failed him. How…how am I supposed to live without him? Without his laugh, that smile, his sarcasm…how? My heart tightened, threatening to shatter at the realization that I will never hear his voice again. Tears began to brim my eyes, ready to overflow and completely consume me.

"Dad, I'm fine." My head shot up at the sound of that voice – Stiles' voice. I walked around the perimeter frantically until my eyes rested on Stiles sitting in the back of the ambulance, speaking with his father. There were no visible injuries or damage – not a cut or a bruise. I smiled in relief, letting go of a deep breath that was stuck in my throat. I began to walk towards Stiles, ready to engulf him in my arms, when I stopped myself.

Stop. Leave now. I took one last look at Stiles before I turned on my heel, running back into the woods. Stiles almost died tonight. I almost lost him. It felt like _I_ almost died – like I almost lost myself.

_Don't you see? We need him and he needs us to protect him. We can't lose him_, my wolf pleaded. No, he doesn't. Don't you see that if he wasn't caught up in this town and mess of creatures, he wouldn't have been in that kind of danger in the first place? He needs a normal, safe life.

After tonight, I have never been so sure of my decision to keep my distance from Stiles. Eventually I'll have to try to get Scott to also distance himself away from him so when college rolls around, Stiles won't have anything tying him down to this town. He will get a fat scholarship to a great school far from here and all the dangers that come with this town. That's when the hard part comes – I _will_ have to learn how to live without him.

* * *

"Erica, go find Stiles and bring him to the pool." Erica nodded her head obediently, walking down the hallway. I grabbed her arm before she went too far, making her face me. "And when I say 'bring him,' that means safely and unharmed. Got it?" I growled, glaring harshly into her brown eyes. She swallowed that lump of fear that formed in her throat before nodding once again. I let go of her arm, turning away from her as I made my way to the pool.

It was the night of the lacrosse game, which meant that the halls would be vacant of people for a few hours. This was the perfect time to question Stiles about what exactly he saw when he witnessed the mechanic being killed. The more I knew about the creature, the easier it would be to kill it and right now, Stiles was my best bet to finding out what exactly this thing was. One part of me was dreading this approaching conversation, because my control was beginning to falter around him. Another part of me was practically bouncing off the walls at the fact that I'll be close to Stiles soon – that those big, brown eyes will look towards me as I get to breathe in his minty yet sultry scent that I was completely intoxicated with.

I paced back and forth, spinning a basketball on my fingers as I waited for Erica to bring Stiles. The door suddenly opened with Stiles walking forward as Erica trailed close behind. He stopped a few feet away from me as Erica made her way over to my side. My nose twitched slightly when smelled another scent other than Stiles: Lydia's. It wasn't overwhelming; it was very faint, but it was still there and that made me angry. I had to shake off my jealousy though, because I have to remember that the plan is for him to be with a normal girl, even if she was the self-obsessed, narcissistic Lydia Martin. I had to remember that he can't be mine. Instead I just focused on Stiles, who was wearing a maroon lacrosse sweat suit that had white stripes running down the sides.

_Wow, he looks good in uniform_, my wolf smirked. Oh my God, shut up.

"Stiles."

"Derek."

"What did you see at the mechanic's garage?" I said as I balanced both the ball and the urge to jump Stiles right now.

"Uhm, several alarming EPA violations that I'm seriously considering reporting." Stiles chewed on his bottom lip as he innocently shrugged his shoulders. I snorted a bit at how cute that sounded, even though I should be angry that he's going to be difficult. But it was okay, there was one sure fire way of getting him to cooperate. I extended the claws on one hand, drumming them lightly on the basketball before piercing through the rubber, deflating it. "Holy God." I tossed the basketball to the floor with all humor drained from my face.

"Let's try that again."

"Alright the thing was pretty slick looking. Uhm, skin was dark – kind of patterned. Uhm, I think I actually saw scales. Is that enough? Okay, because I have somebody I really need to talk to." Stiles said annoyed and tired with me. But I knew there was more he wasn't telling me and I was beginning to become frustrated. I glared at him as my nostrils flared, lips flattening into a tight line. Stiles growled in annoyance. As he continued, I tried to keep myself from becoming aroused at his growl. "Uhm, alright. Fine. Eyes…eyes are yellowish and silted. Uhm, has a lot of teeth. Oh, and it's got a tail, too." As Stiles continued to describe the creature, there it was on the balcony above his head. "Are we good?" I tried not to make any sudden movements, afraid that if I did, it would pounce on Stiles. "What? Wait, have you seen it? You have this look on your faces like you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Stiles, shut up and get behind me." Stiles turned his head to finally see what Erica and I have been staring at. The creature was exactly as he described and it was ready to attack. It shrieked loudly, baring all its teeth as it dropped down to the ground. I growled at it, my whole body going into protective mode as Stiles stood behind me. It swiped at Erica's feet, sending her flying towards the wall, knocking her unconscious. "Run!" I said as I pushed Stiles, needing him to be safe and far away from this creature. I would be more preoccupied with his safety rather than finding this thing's weaknesses if he stayed. I felt something slice against my neck, catching me off guard. I spun around, ready to attack. However, I didn't have full control over my body. Slowly, I felt my legs weaken, numbing at the core.

"Derek, your neck." Stiles breathed as his fear became present to me. I reached my hand around my neck and found that I had been cut. I could no longer hold my own weight, falling backwards as my legs gave out. Stiles stepped forward, throwing my arm over his shoulder and securing the other around my waist. "I got you, I got you." He began to haul me, clumsily, towards the other end of the pool, trying to escape the creature.

"Where is it? Do you see it? Call Scott." Stiles reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone, but it slipped out of his fingers, landing in front of us. Stiles let go of my arm to get the phone, forgetting that I could no longer walk. "Stiles!" I fell into the pool, head first, holding onto the shallow breath I was lucky enough to even take. I began to sink towards the bottom, desperately trying to move any part of my body that would work. No such luck; I just kept sinking farther and farther until two arms wrapped around my waist, pulling us towards the surface.

I gasped in a huge breath when our heads broke the surface with Stiles throwing my arm over his shoulder once again, holding us a float. "Where'd it go? Do you see it?" Stiles said, trying not to choke on the water that seeped into his mouth.

"No."

"Okay, maybe it took off." Stiles said, optimistically. The same loud shriek came from the other end of the room; however we couldn't see where it was.

"Maybe not." I said as Stiles continued to look around him frantically, still kicking his feet under us. I knew that our weight was beginning to make him tired. We had to get out of here. "Can you get me out of here before I drown?"

"You're worried about drowning? Did you notice the thing out there with multiple rows of razor sharp teeth?" Stiles said in his usual sarcastic tone.

"Did you notice I'm paralyzed from the neck down in 8 feet of water?" I snapped back.

"Okay, okay. I don't see it." With that he began to swim towards the ledge. Thank God, I can't be in here anymore – him holding my body like this; it's killing me. _Wait…Damn it._

"Wait! Wait! Stop! Stop!" My voice was frantic and hoarse as I saw the creature circling around the pool, like how a predator circles its prey. How ironic; the hunter becomes the hunted.

Stiles stopped at the sound of my voice, his eyes landing on the same sight. "What's it waiting for?"

"I don't know." The creature crept towards the ledge of the pool and placed its open palm against the water, retreating back, violently, as if it had just been burned.

"Wait, did you see that? I don't think it can swim." Stiles said, studying the creature as was I. Silence fell in the room as Stiles continued to stare at the creature while I adverted my gaze to Stiles. This was bad. The creature couldn't get into the pool, but it was making damn sure that we stayed in it, not leaving any room to escape. It knew that sooner or later we would have to get out and it would be ready for us. But neither Stiles nor I knew when the paralysis would wear off and I knew he couldn't hold us up for much longer.

Seconds turned into minutes as minutes turned to hours, and I was still completely useless. What a great mate I am. My wolf was clawing at my insides, trying to move and protect Stiles, but nothing worked. He was useless, too – and I hope to never feel this way again when it comes to protecting Stiles. I was pulled from my thoughts when he spoke.

"Okay, I…I don't think…I can do this for much longer." I could hear it in his voice – the exhaustion and exertion was getting to him. He was having a hard time holding us up, our heads barely bobbing above water. He was staring at his phone that was still lying on the ground at the other end of the pool. I began to sink farther in the water when Stiles loosened his arm around my waist, beginning to detach himself from me.

"N-n-no! Don't even think about it!" I barked, still trying to keep my head afloat.

"Could you just trust me this once?"

"No!" Are you kidding me? I'll drown!

"I'm the one keeping you alive, have you noticed that?" he answered.

"Yeah and when the paralysis wears off, who's going to be able to fight that thing? You or me?" I growled at him, trying to gain the feeling back in my hand so I could latch onto him better.

"Okay, so that's why I've holding you up for the past two hours?" he argued. There was an edge in his voice, like he was offended by what I had said.

"You don't trust me. I don't trust you. You need me to survive, which is why you're not letting me go." It was true. On countless occasions, he's made it clear that he either wants me dead or that I can't be trusted. So how can I possibly trust him to come back for me once he lets me go? The only reason he's still holding me is because he needs me to fight. That's all. Stiles stared at me with angry eyes, pursing his lips before throwing my arm off his shoulders.

"Stiles!" I was submerged in the water before I could get anything else out. My body sank faster his time as I watched Stiles kick his feet towards the ledge. I heard my back in floor of the pool with a loud _thud_ as I felt the weight of the water crashing down on my head. My lungs began to burn as I tried to hold onto every last bit of oxygen I had. My head began to feel fuzzy, slowly losing consciousness. The burning in my lungs became worse, like flames have been ignited. This is it – I'm going to die. Just when that thought surfaced, Stiles grabbed me and pulled up to the surface once again.

I gasped for air, spitting out water that had filled my mouth. "Tell me you got him." Stiles huffed in defeat, averting his eyes from mine. Obviously that was a no. Great, we're back to fucking square one. Stiles was losing his strength and if he continued to hold us up, he was going to die. When that realization dawned on me, all I could think about was the night before when I thought he was dead. No, he was going to live. He will not die tonight.

"Stiles, let me go."

"What? No. We'll be fine. I'll just…I…" Stiles tried to reason with me, stumbling over some kind of plan that he didn't have.

"No. You're going to let go, because you are not dying tonight. I won't let you." I breathed, failing to sound stern.

"No. Shut up. We're getting out of here _alive_." Stiles began swimming again towards another ledge and from what I could see, there was a handle bar under the diving board – that's what he was aiming for. Stiles reached for the bar, but his slippery hands missed. He tried again, but he couldn't get a firm grip. His body was failing him as he and I both began to drown. Before we sunk to the bottom, we were pulled by our shirts and thrown out of the water.

Finally this kid decided to show up. Not that I'm not grateful, but if he had come maybe an hour ago, that would've been better. Stiles and I were catching our breaths as Scott fended off the creature. I looked over to Stiles to see if he was okay. He was resting on his forearms as he took in deep breaths, exhaustion weighing down on him at the shoulders. I turned away from him in time to see that creature caught a reflection of itself. It looked confused and taken back, not really sure what it was either, then running off as if it was trying to run from itself. _Kamina._

* * *

Kaminas are shifters – dangerous shifters that have no clue what or who they are. They aren't right creatures; somewhere they went wrong and now there was only one word to describe it: _abomination_. I confided this information to Scott and Stiles after I gained the feeling in my body once gain. And again, Scott had the brilliant idea of involving the Argents. Sorry, but I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice by trusting one of them. However, I did need to do one thing tonight: thank Stiles for keeping me alive. It was the least I can do for him.

I crawled into his bedroom window and sat down on his computer chair, waiting patiently for him to change in his bathroom after his shower. I heard the _click!_ of the lock turning and braced myself when he opened the door, watching as he jumped a little from my being in his room.

"Jeez, what the hell are you doing here? Didn't have we have enough of each other for one night?" No, I could spend my entire life with you and it still wouldn't be enough.

"I just wanted to thank you for today." Stiles blinked, trying to hide his shocked expression. "You didn't have to save me. You could have left me to die."

"No, I couldn't." Stiles growled between his teeth, staring at me with angry eyes once again.

"And why is that?" I folded my arms, waiting for him to continue.

"Do I seem that heartless to you? Seriously, what is wrong with you? I care, Derek. Excuse me for doing so, but I do. For once can you just trust that people are nice and helpful because they care, not because they want something from you?" He said as he was undoing his bed, becoming more and more frustrated.

"No actually, I can't because that's not how the world works. People use people." I said standing up from the chair, making my way towards the window, leaning against the sill.

"Well, I don't use people. I might get used, ignored and taken for granted sometimes, but that doesn't mean I have to have the same pessimist outlook on life like you do." Stiles was flailing his arms at me, trying to get his point across.

"Oh, you mean like Scott." Stiles closed his mouth almost immediately, detaching his eyes from mine. I hit a nerve. "You know he doesn't deserve you, right? He's one of the people who treat you the worst and you put up with it."

"Its fine," Stiles said playing with fingers, still avoiding eye contact.

"Why?" I growled harshly, becoming angry with Stiles for being so passive with Scott's behavior.

"Because he's my best friend and he needs me. And without him, I'm all alone." Stiles shouted back, his voice faltering at the last part. I stared at intently, my brows furrowing once I realized that he, too, has lost people he's loved. When you lose someone you love, you desperately hang onto the ones you still have left.

"You still have your father. He-"

"Yeah, my dad – the Sherriff, whose barely ever home and when he is, he's too exhausted to take notice into my life sometimes. It's not that I blame him, it's just…most of the time I'm here alone in this house filled with painful memories of a mother I no longer have and thoughts that threaten my sanity." Stiles slumped onto his bed, fighting off tears that already were making his eyes glossy.

My natural reaction would be to hold him close to me, protecting him from everything around us while I kiss each tear away. But I couldn't do that. So I settled for the next best thing. I walked over to his side of the bed and sat on the edge, facing the wall rather than him. "I'm sorry. I know what it feels like to lose people you love and feel like that part of you will never be filled again. I know what it's like to be alone." I grimaced to myself, reliving my own painful memories, never having told anyone how broken I actually felt.

"Do you ever wish that you weren't? Is that why you turned Erica? So you wouldn't have to be alone?" Stiles asked quietly. My head snapped towards him, our eyes locking immediately. His eyes were wide and searching - searching for answers, searching for _my _truth.

"I didn't give the bite to Erica so I could finally have someone. I do not and will not ever want her. As for not wanting to be alone, no I don't wish I wasn't."

"Why?"

"Because it's easier being alone – no one can hurt me when I'm alone. I'm not vulnerable and weak when I'm alone, so people can't use that against me. You can't break something that was never whole to begin with." I looked away from Stiles, feeling that pull again, except this time it was stronger and unrelenting. I needed to get out of here.

"Maybe that's because you still haven't found the right person; someone who will find strength in your vulnerability rather than use it against you." Stiles peered over at me, seizing up what my reaction would be. Please stop, Stiles. You have no clue how bad I want to give in to you. "I hope one day you could trust me, because… I won't hurt you, Derek." I was now looking at him, not sure what to say or feel. My heart was beating too fast and too hard for me to really fathom any kinds of words. I knew he was telling the truth and strangely, I knew that I already trusted him – tonight proved that to me. Oh God. I wanted him. I wanted him more than I've ever wanted anything in my life, but I don't deserve him and that's why I have to leave now.

"Yeah, maybe one day." I plastered a stoic expression on face as I got up from the bed and made my way towards the window.

"Derek, wait…" My hands rested on the window sill as I closed my eyes, blindly grabbing at the control that was slipping from my grasp. "Can…can you please stay? I…after tonight, the last thing I want to be is alone."

I turned my head towards him slowly, ready to reject his offer when I was, yet again, sucked in by those brown eyes. They were pleading for me to stay and afraid that I would reject him. He looked raw and beaten, fighting to stay awake, waiting for my answer. No matter how bad I wanted to say no, I knew I couldn't leave him – not like this. I nodded in agreement and strode over to the bed, lying down next to him. I clamped my hands over my stomach, knowing better than to leave them loose to wander, and crossed one leg over the other. I closed my eyes once my head it the pillow. I wasn't getting any rest tonight; somehow I had to control the beast inside, trying to claw to the surface so that it could once and for all claim Stiles as its mate.

"Goodnight Derek." The bed sank a bit, indicating that Stiles had also lain down.

"Goodnight Stiles." I said flatly, not really trusting my own voice at the moment. Stiles remained on his side of the bed as did I. We were only mere inches away from each other, the space between us burning into my skin.

_What are you doing? Claim him. Claim him now._ My wolf was fighting hard against me, determined not to let this opportunity slip pass. If you don't stop, I will get up and leave right now. Just try me.

My wolf growled deeply, but remained dormant, settling on at least being close to Stiles, rather than be away from him altogether. I laid there peacefully for hours, eventually falling asleep myself to the sweet melody of Stiles' deep breathing – breathing that would always remind me that he's still alive and knowing that brought me nothing but joy.

* * *

The high afternoon sunrays streamed in through the window, landing on my lidded eyes. Okay, time to get up. I opened my eyes slowly, taking in my current surroundings. There was a laptop on the desk and posters of snowboarders on the wall. Wait, I don't have laptop, let alone a desk. And my mattress is nowhere near this comfortable. Oh that's right. I'm not at the warehouse; I'm in Stiles' room after spending the night here. Speaking of Stiles, where was he? I sat up and looked around the room, confirming that I was in fact alone. Then right on cue, Stiles emerged from the bathroom in nothing but a towel.

"Oh…hey. I thought you'd still be sleeping by the time I got out." Stiles said, awkwardly, securing a hand on the towel around his waist. I didn't say a word; I couldn't. No words formed on lips. The only thing I did do was growl, _loudly_. Stiles wasn't afraid or taken back. No, he was amused. He squinted his eyes, smirking at me as he cocked his head to the side. "You want me." It wasn't a question: it was an observation and it was right on the money. He began to walk slowly towards me with a confidence I've never seen in him before.

"Yes." I whispered in a hoarse voice saturated in so much lust and desire. He hiked up his towel just above his knees as he straddled my waist, wrapping his arms around my neck. My hands immediately found his hips, rubbing my thumbs over his exposed flesh. My breathing became labored as I tried to keep my animalistic instincts at bay. I was not going to scare him off – not now.

"Good. Now, take me Derek. Claim me." Stiles sighed, deeply, which could have easily been mistaken for a deep moan. He grabbed a fist full of my hair, pulling lightly as he brushed the tip of his nose against mine. "I want you, Derek. Please, claim me." Stiles lightly licked at my top lip, teasing me. That's it, I'm done fighting. I captured his lips with mine, devouring his mouth with my tongue. He moaned in the back of his throat pressing his pelvis closer to mine as my hands roamed his back, needing there to be no space between us. One of my hands traveled lower down his back until I felt the material of towel, yanking it off and –

I awoke with a start: growling deeply, eyes flaring red, teeth long and sharp, claws extended. I had shifted and right now, I couldn't control it. I looked over to my left to find a startled Stiles still there, one hand on my arm, probably trying to wake me before. I lunged at him, falling on top of him as I pinned his hands above his head.

"Derek!" Stiles yelped in surprise, staring at me with wide, wild eyes. I continued to stare into his eyes, looking for any sign that he was frightened. But he wasn't; he was just surprised, which caused me to feel taken back. Why wasn't he afraid?

_Who cares! Claim him. You know he wants us, too_, my wolf stated, ready to take Stiles.

Oh my God, what am I doing? With every last bit of strength I had, I jumped off Stiles, quickly, trying to shake myself of my sudden lust. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I said right before I jumped out the window.

"Wait, Derek!"

I didn't dare listen to Stiles. I just kept running, remaining in my human form, afraid of shifting back into my wolf state. After I was a good 30 yards away from Stiles, I slowed to a stop, resting up against the nearest tree. I panted harshly, resting my hands on my knees. I went to stand up straight when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. It felt like someone kicked me in the kidneys with steel toe boots, but it didn't stop there. The pain kept coming several times becoming too unbearable as I fell to my knees. The pain spread to my chest, the pangs becoming my severe and forceful. My vision became blurred as my head began to throb with the same intensity of the pain in my torso. I cried out in pain before suddenly everything went black.

**_Ello! :D_**

**_I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, because it took forever to write. And yes I know, I'm a tease ;)_**

**_I loved all the reviews and although some of them were really good, like guest ***, it would have interferred with where I want to take the story. If it didn't, I would have surely wrote that in :)_**

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**_Love you all 3_**


	5. Chapter 5

My eyes fluttered open slowly, adjusting to the sight of the sun setting behind the mess of trees and leaves in the preserve. Wait, the sun is setting? I lightly pushed off the ground with my forearms, turning my body onto its back. My limbs were sore as well as my chest. It felt as if there had been a 200 pound weight crushing me until all the air had exited my body. I brought my knees up, planting my feet on the ground so I could upright my body into a seated position. _Ugh. _Every part of me had a dull ache, tensing with each movement. After blinking away my exhaustion, I looked to see that I was still at the reserve, in the same spot I had collapsed from before. What the hell happened? I tensed at the initial thought that this was because something had happened to Stiles. But it couldn't have been. This pain was nothing like I had felt before. Every time I had felt the swing of Stiles' emotions or pain, the feeling was somewhat still foreign. Sure, I felt it and there was pain or anguish when I felt his infliction, however, it never crippled me. It was always maybe a fraction of what he was actually feeling. His pain was shared with me, never having to bear it all on my shoulders. No, this was very different. This was all _my_ pain - all of _my_ emotion. It felt as if I was crumbling, breaking down until there was nothing left of me. Very different kind of pain, indeed. Now the only question is: what's happening to me?

I walked to the warehouse at a slow pace, afraid that my body will fail me once again. By the time I reached the basement, it was night fall. I climbed into the subway car and slumped onto my thin, worn-out mattress. Even though I had been unconscious for several hours, I still felt severely weak, and weak was the last thing I was supposed to be right now. What's going on? What happened back there? Am I losing my power as the Alpha? Can I not handle it? I pushed those thoughts away, refusing to believe that I'm not equipped to be an Alpha. It's not possible for someone's wolf to reject the position as Alpha. Maybe it was just the exertion from the day before or my wolf fighting against me once again for running out on Stiles? That had to be it. My _fucking_ wolf rebelling against me because I wouldn't pin Stiles to the bed and have my way with him. Great, now on top of being sore and exhausted, I'm frustrated with myself - well, at least the animal part of me. I sighed deeply, officially giving up for today, seeing that I still have a homicidal, walking snake on the loose. With that final thought, I slipped into a dream state - the only place I will ever let myself get close to Stiles.

* * *

"So, what's up Derek?" Boyd chirped as he sat down on the bottom step of the stairs while I was checking the reinforcements of the chains for the next full moon.

"Spit it out." I said bored, glancing at him momentarily to see that he scrunched up his face, giving off the false illusion of being confused.

"Spit what out? I'm just, you know, making conversation." He said with a cheeky smile, lightly fist bumping my shoulder. I glared at my shoulder and then back at him, my face clearly giving off the message: _I'm not in the mood for games. _"Alright fine, you win. I was just wondering when you were going to let us know about you and Stiles."

I froze, clenching onto the chains a bit tighter, so they wouldn't slip from hands. I regulated my breathing and heart beat, so Boyd wouldn't know that he had completely mind fucked me with his incredibly blunt question."I don't know what you're talking about." I kept my eyes on the chains, keeping my hands busy as well.

"C'mon man. I have someone else in mind," he mocked, which I replied with a pointed look. "I mean, it's just obvious that this someone is Stiles, well to me it is."

"And please tell me how you came up with this brilliant conclusion." I interrupted him, becoming impatient with this conversation. He knew too much - how did he know this much? How ever he knows, he was beginning to push my boundaries and I didn't like it, not one bit.

"Well, you see, I take the bus everyday to and from school. Before you gave me the bite, I had to make up this test after school, which meant I would miss my bus and rather than wait for another, I walked instead. Sure, my house is a bit far and it was almost pitch black when I got home, but the walk was supposed to help my baby fat situation." I cleared my throat loudly, signaling for him to get to the point and stop rambling. "Right. So anyways, Stiles' house is on the same route I take to get home. I was walking by and I saw you leaning up against his house. It looked like you were listening, or something. At first I thought you were just resting but you didn't move. I stayed there for about 15 minutes, thinking you were maybe planning to rob them instead. But no, you just stood, listening. So, I skipped the bus the next day and again, you were there. Sitting up against the house, listening. I walked a bit closer that time to get a better look and that's when I noticed your face."

I was now staring at him, never feeling so naked in front of someone. This kid had crept up on me and I had no idea. I was so focused on Stiles that I didn't notice or bother to care that someone would see me at his house. Boyd then continued, hesitantly. "You had this look like you were at peace, maybe even happy. I can't really describe it. It's like…it's like you were at home." Speechless could not begin to describe the state I was in. I was actually angry that he knew so much, _too_ much.

"Boyd, I swear if you say anything-"

"I won't. I just wanted to let you know that I know there's something going on there and when you're ready for people to know, you'll have someone who supports you. I'm just happy for you, that's all." Boyd gave me a small grin, before standing to go meet up with Isaac and Erica outside.

Once he exited the door, I dropped the chains to the floor and threw my head into my hands. How could I let this happen? This was supposed to be my secret - my pain to bear. No one was supposed to find out about the way I feel about Stiles. I was supposed to wallow in my desire and need while Stiles went off and lived a normal, peaceful life. That's how it was supposed to be. Not some third party who knew too much. What if Boyd does try to say something to Stiles? He said he wouldn't, but you can never know with teenagers these days with their brash and impulsive decisions.

_I hope he tells him because you sure aren't doing anything_, my wolf growled. Oh my God, do you ever shut up?

I sighed to myself, not believing that I was actually putting my faith into a teenage boy to keep my secret.

* * *

Isaac was sitting next to Lydia at a lab station, putting on a friendly front as they mixed chemicals into a beaker. I was outside of the school, leaning against my car, watching to see what would happen if Lydia ingested the venom of the Kanima. I had tested Jackson the night before, seeing as he received the bite beforehand. I was pretty sure that he hadn't turned the night of full moon since he had a strange reaction to the bite. However, it didn't mean that something else could have happened. But now he was officially crossed off the list since he, too, was paralyzed like the rest of us by the venom. So Lydia was the last obvious option, seeing as she, too, received the bite from the Alpha, but showed no signs of shifting into a wolf.

"Lydia wait!" Scott shouted in the middle of the classroom, rising from his seat in a start.

"What?" Lydia asked innocently, still holding the venom coated crystal close to her mouth.

Scott muttered something quietly, as he seated himself once again. Lydia then turned back to the crystal, biting into carefully. I froze waiting for any sign that she would collapse or convulse until she was paralyzed. But, no. She was fine as she continued to gnaw on the crystal. _Lydia._ Lydia was the Kanima. I would have to kill her- the girl Stiles has been in love with since he was a child, and as horrible as it might sound, I don't know if I was saddened or happy about that.

* * *

Really? This was their best plan? To hide inside a house? I mean, _really_?

Isaac, Erica, Boyd and I were standing outside Scott's house, on the opposite street, while Stiles, Allison and Lydia were cooped up inside the house, trying to barricade the doors. It was a feeble attempt to make since there were four wolves just waiting outside, who could easily break through. But instead of just charging in there and drawing attention to ourselves, we're going to wait until the perfect moment. Stiles and Allison occasionally drew back the curtains, glaring at us from behind the glass. Scott was no where in sight, probably still back at the school where I last saw him as he tried to convince me that Lydia could never be the Kanima, even with the startlingly evidence. He rambled on about Lydia maybe being immune and that she may have passed the same trait to Jackson somehow. That was ridiculous. No one has ever been immune - it's never been heard of before. Once he realized that I wasn't going to change my mind, he continued to yell at me that I couldn't kill her. But I have no choice. I can't give her the opportunity to kill someone else - to kill Stiles. That was a risk I wasn't willing to take. If she had to die, so be it.

I was just about to give the go when my phone rang. I pulled my phone from pocket, not bothering to look at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Derek." Stiles said, sternly. Wha-why was he calling me?

"Stiles."

"You need to leave," he demanded, putting as much force into his voice as possible.

"Oh really? And are you going to make me?" I said, amused with how he planned to stop me. I heard him sigh on the other end before he continued.

"Derek, I won't let you kill her. I'll have Allison go _Katniss_ on your ass, if I have to." I laughed darkly. "Stop laughing, I'm being serious."

"I know you are, which is hilarious, because you are not going to stop me." I growled, walking away from the others, so I could have some privacy.

"You can't kill her!"

"Why? Because you still have this pathetic fantasy that she'll finally take your virginity?" I know I was crossing the line, but I didn't care. My jealousy was seeping through my mouth, not caring if my harsh words hurt him. I was envious that he cared more about Lydia than me.

"Fuck you! You know it's not like that. I'm tired of losing people: friends, family…just please don't." Stiles pleaded, his voice faltering to barely a whisper.

I completely drained of all my anger and jealousy at the sound of his voice. I sighed loudly as I closed my eyes, feeling at loss of what to do. "Stiles, I won't let her hurt you," I said, slipping up a bit. "…any of you. I'm sorry, but I have no choice." I quickly added before I gave away too much. This was not an easy decision for me. I really didn't want to kill a kid at any point, but she's killed people and she has the capacity to Stiles - and that terrified me.

It was silent on the other end and I had no clue what Stiles could have been thinking at that moment. It felt like ages had passed before he spoke again, "We'll see about that."

With that being said, he hung up the phone, leaving me frustrated and hurt. He was so damn stubborn. He just doesn't understand. But that's not what really bothered me; Stiles was hell-bent on saving Lydia. I knew that part of this was due to his issues on death taking away people he cared about, like his mom, but a part of me knew that this was also because she was Lydia Martin. The girl he's in love with and will do anything for. I tried to stop myself from wondering, but I couldn't help it: if the roles were reserved and someone wanted to kill me, would Stiles be as adamant on keeping me alive? I shook my head of such thoughts, not ready for the evitable, cold truth.

"Isaac, go inside the house through the back and distract them long enough for Erica to slip inside to get to Lydia." I ordered as Isaac nodded obediently before heading towards the back of the house.

I leaned up against my car, still thrown off by the conversation I had with Stiles. I tried to block my jealousy, but every time I thought I was fine, I just became more frustrated. There was a pang in my chest at the realization that I will never mean to Stiles what Lydia so obviously does.

My head snapped up when I heard the sound of someone crashing to the floor. _Stiles_. I almost leapt from the car, but I held my ground. Calm down, Derek. Isaac won't hurt him. Just when I convinced myself of that, I felt a sting on my lip as if I had been just cut. He _cut_ him. He drew _blood_. Before I knew it, I had shifted and ran for the house, kicking open the door. Stiles was lying on the ground with Isaac still charging towards him. Isaac had slightly shifted, claws bared, ready to attack. I growled intensely, before I grabbed Isaac by his jacket, flinging him to the other side of the room. Isaac hit the wall hard, collapsing to his hands and knees, shifting back to his human form.

"Did I say attack to him?" I growled through clenched teeth, panting heavily.

"No, but-"

"You will never lay a hand on him again. Is that clear?"

"Yes," Isaac answered, swallowing his lump of fear and staring at me with apologetic eyes.

I detached my eyes from his and turned to look at Stiles. He was still lying on the ground, bewildered at what he just witnessed. Still in my wolf form and not completely in control of my body, I found myself crouching in front of him. I leaned in closer, my face a few inches from his. I brought my clawed hand up to his cheek, lightly running my thumb over his cut lip.

"I'm sorry. You were never supposed to get hurt." I murmured, unable to stop myself from speaking those words. Stiles adverted his eyes from the floor to look into my red, crimson eyes. There they were, those innocent brown eyes that I loved so much. They showed no signs of fear or hate, just awe - only awe. I looked away from him, ashamed to have him look in these eyes, the same eyes I had when I basically attacked him the other day.

I felt Stiles' hand on the side of my cheek, turning my face to look back at him. "It's okay," he breathed while still holding my cheek in his hand.

Before I could say or do anything that I would regret later on, Scott descended from the stairs with Erica thrown over his shoulder, paralyzed, with Allison following close behind. I jumped to my feet as Scott threw her out of the house and Isaac followed after. Scott looked at me confused before giving Stiles a questioning look. Before either one could say a word, there was a _thump! _that came from the roof. Scott, Stiles, Allison and I all hurried outside to get a look at what going on, only to be met with the sight of the Kanima descending down the roof. Just as the Kanima jumped from the roof and out of sight, Lydia burst through the front door, demanding to know what was going on. She wasn't the Kanima and at that point, I really didn't care because there was no way in hell I was letting that thing get away again.

I bolted after it, still in my wolf form, making it that much easier to track its scent. It was fast, _really fast_, causing me to push off my legs even harder in order to keep up with it. I followed the Kanima to the underside of a bridge with plenty of open space that outstretched for miles. I slowed to a stop when the scent began fade; clearly the thing was still here in this vicinity because the scent didn't travel any farther. I looked around, fearful that I may have lost it again, until I heard it drop to its feet about 50 feet away from me. It hissed at me, crouching in an attack stance as I growled in response. It began to lunge at me, swinging its arms blindly trying to make contact. I dodged the attempts easily and ducked in time to switch positions, allowing me to kick it against the wall. I went to punch the thing, but it also ducked causing my fist to make contact with the pillar, smashing through it. It pushed against my waist forcefully, sending me to the ground. The Kanima then took its opportunity to swipe at me, but I picked up a discarded piece of metal that was at my side to use as a shield. It continued to slash at the metal as I tried to prevent it from rendering me helpless once again with its venom. It had me pinned against the wall, pushing against the metal. With a growl, I exerted enough force to push it off and discard the metal. I charged toward it, but it leapt up onto the wall, staring at me as it clung to the ceiling. With a swipe of its tail, it disconnected the electric wires that ran under the bridge, sending sparks in my face. In my temporary blindness, the Kanima grabbed me by the shirt and threw me to the ground behind it. Before it could lunge at me, Chris stalked towards the Kanima, emptying an entire clip into the thing. The Kanima collapsed to the ground, lifeless, as Chris searched for me in the darkness. I had already taken cover, not wanting to deal with both the Kamina and hunters tonight. However, just when Chris and I thought it was all over, the Kanima stood and threw Chris up against a pillar. Before the Kanima could escape, Gerard came out of the truck and stood in front of it. He didn't look afraid or frightened of it. He made no move to kill it and the Kanima made no move to kill him. They just continued to stare at each other. Suddenly, Scott tackled the Kanima, pushing it away from Gerard. I took this opportunity to follow it, wanting another chance to kill it once and for all. Guns and bullets wouldn't do it, so there had to be another way to kill it.

I followed it to a club a few blocks down from the bridge. It was a gay club and it was jam packed tonight. Before I snuck in through a window, I noticed that Danny was here. Since I really don't believe in coincidences, he must be the next target. The club wasn't too big, but there were tons of men, boys and drag queens lurking and dancing. I stayed close to the shadows, not bothering to change back into my human form. With all the flashing lights, dim lighting and crowds of people just trying to get laid, no one would notice the 6 foot werewolf in the room. Before I began to look for the Kanima, I heard the familiar, intoxicating voice that I didn't want anywhere near this scene right now. Stiles and Scott had just entered the club, ordering drinks at the bar. Stiles was dancing like, and excuse my lack of a better word, a spaz, trying to get liquor from the bartender but then settled for a plain old Coke. I would have found this amusing, if it weren't for the potenital threat still lurking about. I looked out to the dance floor to see that Danny was at the center dancing with another guy. I looked up in time to see that the Kanima was on the ceiling and right on cue, the smoke machine started up, making the dance floor one big cloud. Thankfully, this would allow me to enter the dance floor undetected. I saw Scott and Stiles head for the dance floor as well. What was he doing? Oh God, I can't protect him right now. Fortunately, Stiles was stuck in between a bunch of dancers, unable to get far. Out of nowhere, bodies began to collapse on the floor, including Danny. Before the Kanima could inflict any more harm, I slashed its throat with my claws and bolted out of the cloud. The dance floor became chaotic, as people ran and screamed, clearing the floor of the smoke. I shifted back to my human form, spotting Stiles in a mess of people charging for the door. I grabbed him by his arm and pulled him off to the side, out of the way and sight of other people.

"What are you doing here?" I growled, still clutching his arm.

"Oh you know, clubbing. What do you think I'm doing here? I'm trying to help." Stiles said, ripping his arm away from my grasp.

"Well stay out of it. You could get hurt, and Scott and I can't always be here to save your ass." I knew I was pushing it again, but I rather him hate me and still be alive than dead because he always wants to play Robin.

"Who are you to tell me what to do? I've saved your werewolf ass plenty times. I can take care of myself, if you haven't noticed." Stiles challenged back, staring at with agitated eyes.

"Stiles, get this through your head. You are the weak link. You are the feeble human and the more we have to worry about keeping you safe, the less time we have to kill this thing. You're holding us back." I didn't mean a single word I said. On the contrary, he helped us in so many ways that sometimes I forget that he's just human. But this is _too_ dangerous. He needs to stay out of it. I don't how to protect him from all of it and I'm afraid that I'll fail him. Stiles' eyes softened now, searching mine with curiosity.

"Why don't you just say want you really want to tell me?" Stiles answered, his voice strong with assertion.

"Since you know everything, why don't you tell me?" I snapped back at him.

"That you care about me!" He shouted back at me. He looked just as surprised by his outburst as I was. "That you care enough about me that you don't want to see me get hurt, but you're just too afraid to admit it."

I glared at him, nostrils flaring and jaw clenched. He was right. I do care and I was afraid to admit it, but he wasn't supposed to know that. "Don't flatter yourself, Stiles. You're just Scott's friend and _he's_ the one I want in my pack. If something were to happen to you, he'll never join then. You're just extra baggage, _nothing_ more." I said harshly through my clenched teeth. I wanted to take back every word once they left my mouth, but it was too late. The words were said and those innocent eyes...I never seen so much hurt in them. My heart ached once I saw the pain I inflicted on my mate, but it needed to be done. Before I could go back on everything I said, I walked away from Stiles, tears beginning to slowly cascade down my face.

After the events of tonight, I went back to the basement of the warehouse. I was descending down from the stairs when that pain began again, except this time it swelled from my back. It felt as if someone set fire to me, melting the skin away with the flames. I yelled in pain as I lost my footing, tumbling down the stairs until I reached the bottom. The searing pain spread to my torso, growing with intensity. I clawed at the ground, trying to grab hold of anything - a stool, a railing, my _sanity_. I yelled out in pain again, when a piercing ring sounded in my head. It began to throb, the pain becoming almost too much to bear as I was slowly losing conscious. The last thing I thought before I blacked out was Stiles and how I had hurt him, and that if this kills me, he will forever believe that I hate him rather than the truth. I began to mutter Stiles' name before I completely blacked out.

"Stiles...Stiles..._Stiles_..."

_**Hola Amigos!**_

_**I am so sorry for how late this is! I got caught up last week and then I was trying to start my summer work D: But I felt bad about leaving you hanging, so here it is!**_

_**I am also so happy with the positive reviews and feedback on the story :) I'm so glad you like it.**_

_**Oh! and Thank you singingforfeeling for catching my misspelling of 'Kanima.' Oops xD and I double checked the spelling and it is in fact 'Kanima,' not 'Catama.'**_

_**Yeah, you guys might hate me after this chapter x) It all gets better, you'll see. And please excuse my errors or mistakes, because I'm sure there are some. No matter how many times I go over the chapters, I always miss something. Oh well, I'm only human. **_

_**So review and let me know what you think! :)**_

_**Enjoy!**_


	6. Chapter 6

"Derek?" I heard the hurried footsteps of someone descending down the staircase as their heart beat accelerated. "Derek!" I felt Isaac's long fingers curling around my bicep, trying to shake me conscious. The moment he laid his hand on me, it felt as if I was set on fire again. The touch burned into my skin, waking me from my unconscious state.

A low groan escaped my lips as I opened my eyes to find a very startled Isaac. He watched me carefully as I began to sit up, wincing at the throbbing pain that seemed to be in every limb of my body. He helped me sit right, the furrow in his brow growing deeper when he realized the amount of pain I was in. This was not like before. Before, the pain happened in an instant and was gone by the time I had woken up. No, this time it was different. The pain didn't leave; it _lingered_. The pain was less severe than the attack I experienced before; however I would rather have that pain over this. That pain was so unbearable that I fell unconscious, allowing me to escape from its harm. Now, I'm wake and it's still here. This pain is bad enough to make me wish I could go to sleep or for someone to knock me unconscious. But no, there will be no rest with this agony. It felt was if it started at the core of my bones, searing through the tissue and skin. It felt like I was breaking down and there was no way of saving me.

"Derek, what happened?" Isaac asked, trying to remain calm, even though I could feel how much this frightened him.

"I need…you…to take me…to the animal clinic." My voice was hoarse as I desperately tried to catch my breath. Everything hurt..._so...much_.

"Okay, I know we're werewolves, but I think you need to go to a hospital, not a vet." Isaac remarked, helping me to my feet. I outstretched my legs, almost crying out right then at the ripping sensation I felt in my calves.

"Isaac, take me to the clinic. Deaton can help, trust me," I whispered out of breath. Isaac looked at me, skeptically, for a moment, not really sure if I was in my right mind until he sighed in defeat.

"Alright, let's go." Isaac threw my arm, carefully, around his shoulder, securing his arm around my waist. The stairs were hell. I felt my legs buckling at each step, trying to will myself not to fall over and give up altogether. Isaac was patient with me, practically picking up my body for each step. Even though my legs felt like they weighed a ton - making it that much harder for me to pick them up - I ignored the pain, angry that I appeared so weak in front of my pack. "Uhm, I don't have a car." Isaac confessed when we finally reached the front door of the warehouse.

"Take the Camaro." Despite the situation, I saw Isaac fighting back the corners of his mouth from turning up. I grinned slightly at his excitement.

"Alright then."

* * *

About 20 minutes later, we arrived at the animal clinic just as the sun began to set. Isaac slung my arm over his shoulders once again, leading me into the clinic. "Can I help you?" Deaton appeared in the doorway of his work space, leaning against the frame. He had a distant look in his eyes, not really happy about having me in his clinic.

"He needs your help-"

"And why should I help him?" Deaton interrupted Isaac, shrugging his shoulders coolly.

"Look, I'm sorry about attacking you before and tying you up, but I was desperate." I apologized, clutching onto Isaac, desperately, as I began to give out under my own weight.

"So that gives you the right to attack innocent people? Because you were 'desperate'?" Deaton answered, folding his arms across his chest.

"No, but…" I closed my eyes, trying to stay calm even as my insides felt like they were going to burst at any moment. "I am sorry, but I…I really do need your help." I breathed, wincing most of my words out. Deaton's eyes soften at my broken demeanor, turning his body to the side, gesturing for Isaac to bring me over to the operating table. Isaac set me down on the table while I grasped at the ledge, trying to keep my body upright. Deaton didn't say anything at first; he observed me for a moment and then went to his cabinet.

"Isaac, go wait outside," I said quietly.

"Are you sure?" He asked, placing his hand gently on my shoulder. I know he meant it as a gesture of comfort, but it only added to my pain with the extra weight.

"Yes. Now, go." Isaac nodded his head and turned to walk away. "Wait," I stretched out my hand, despite the stabbing feeling it caused in my shoulder blades, and caught his arm. "Thank you."

Isaac looked at my hand and back at me with a small grin across his face. He had a certain look of admiration and acceptance in his eyes as he nodded his head. "You're welcome."

"What seems to be the problem?" Deaton asked once Isaac left, rummaging through his remedies.

"I don't really know how to explain it. I…I keep collapsing after these…attacks brought on from my own body. The pain…it's…it's unimaginable. But this time, it's not going away and seems to be getting worse."

Deaton turned his head, pausing momentarily from his search. "You said 'attacks'? Can you describe these attacks?"

"Uhm, the first time was like swift, unrelenting kicks to my chest. Each kick was more intense and brutal, spreading throughout me. When it got to my head, it felt like it was throbbing and then I blacked out. This time, though…it was a bit different. I felt like I was on fire - like I was burning, melting away in the worst way possible and…it still feels like that." My chest was burning so intensely it felt like my body was pulsating with heat and pain, causing beads of sweat to form. The pain was becoming more intense and I was using all my strength to stay sane at that moment.

Deaton swirled around so fast, I thought I would have gotten whiplash. He had this astonished look on his face and at a loss for words. He walked towards me, squinting his eyes in awe. I looked at him questioningly, uncomfortable with the way he was just staring at me. Deaton snapped out of his trance once he saw that my calm face turned into a hard glare. "Sorry if I'm staring, but you've True Mated."

"I've what?"

"True Mated – it's very rare; maybe only two or three cases that have been heard of. It's quite remarkable actually, but from what you're telling me, I have to guess that you haven't claimed your mate yet?" I adverted my eyes from him as I nodded my head, solemnly. "Do you mind if I ask who?" Deaton questioned.

"Stiles." I growled still unable to look at him.

"Stiles? Well, that's…interesting. Does he know?"

"No and he's not going to."

"So you mean, you're denying the claim?" Deaton asked, bewildered.

"Yes, I'm denying it! Anyways, what the hell is this 'true mating' shit? And what does it have anything to do with what's happening to me?" I snapped, groaning at the flare of pain that surged within my back.

"Derek, it has everything to do with what happening to you-"

"And what exactly is happening to me?" I growled out.

"You're dying."

_**Aloha!**_

_**So yeah, this is kind of short because it's really meant to set it up for the next chapter. But I still hope you enjoy, even if I do screw you guys again with another cliffhanger xD Again, I'm a tease.**_

_**Oh! And thank you guys so much! The amount of positive of reviews and feedback is amazing :)**_

_**artemis13: I appreciate your advice on how to emphasize the inner monologue away from the story telling. However when I'm writing it, I want it be like your inside the mind of Derek Hale, so I really don't find it necessary to emphasize certain thoughts other than the wolf's. Plus, it's just my writing style. xD But thank you for your input and I respect it :)**_

_**So review and let me know what you think! Or just let me hear your outrage over for how I ended this chapter xD**_

_**Enjoy!**_


	7. Chapter 7

"_Dying_?" I breathed out. I was in such a state of shock, I didn't know what to think or feel.

"Yes."

"How? Why?" I couldn't help the slight sound of desperation in my voice. Most people would have thought, at this moment, only about their own life and asking how they could have possibly deserved this. I, on the other hand, only thought about Stiles. Thought about those lips I would never kiss or that body I would never hold securely against mine. The very thought sickened me. It was unbearable.

"Well, according to legends and records, true mating is a very special, strong bond between two people. It's a bond that consists of an Alpha and one other person, usually another wolf, which is why it is so extraordinary that you true-mated with Stiles. It is believed that these two people – you and Stiles – are two halves of one person, one spirit, _one soul_. You better each other and strengthen each other's weaknesses, truly understanding one another."

"Soul mates – _really_?" I remarked, not believing how corny and lovesick this sounded.

"Exactly like soul mates. Since you seem so skeptical, why don't you tell me how you feel about Stiles? I want to hear everything." Deaton said, folding his arms across his chest.

I glared at him, hating him for making me talk about my feelings. It's not something I do. I don't spill out every detail about my life – or any at all – to people, least of all strangers. The less people knew the better. After a few moments of stubborn reluctance, I sighed in defeat. "I…" I sighed once more. "Everything feels better around him. Everything _is_ better when he's around. I've never wanted – _needed_ someone like I need him." I paused for moment, replaying Deaton's words in my head. "When I'm around him, I feel like I don't have to hold onto the anger or hate anymore. It's like I can recapture a part of myself that I lost a long time ago. He's like a breath of fresh air; invigorating and so natural…something I just can't live without." I froze. Did I just say that? Where did all of that come from? The more I thought about what I said, the more I began to believe that Stiles' was, in fact, my true mate.

"You can't live without him, _literally_." I snapped my head up to look at him. "When you find your true mate and _deny_ the claim, you're denying a part of you. So, your soul begins to wither. You will die without him. These attacks you've been feeling is your body fighting against you. Your soul, your spirit, _your wolf_ are trying to go to Stiles, since you continue to leave him. Since they're trapped within your body, it's slowly killing you."

"What about Stiles?" I felt myself begin to panic, worried that Stiles was facing the same pain and possible death.

"No, Stiles will be fine. Since the Alpha is the first one to recognize the claim and has the stronger wolf, it is the Alpha who is so affected by the mating. I know this may sound confusing but information on this mating is so scarce. I just know that this mating is only possible with an Alpha, so that means you were destined to receive this power, which enabled you to finally find your true mate. It is possible that Stiles also may feel the draw of the mating, just not as intensely as you do. But once you claim him, your bond will be complete and official. You and Stiles are equals in every possible likeness. The mating will be stronger than you ever thought possible. Your bond, _your love_ for each other will be greater than you ever thought possible." Deaton explained, sounding in complete awe of what was unfolding before him. I just continued to look at the ground, grinding my teeth against each other. "See, this is what I don't understand. You have something utterly remarkable between you and Stiles and yet, you still seem adamant on denying it?"

"You got that right," I growled.

"Why?"

I looked up to Deaton with a cold stare. "_Why_? Because Stiles deserves so much better than this – so much better than me. This life is too dangerous and I can't bear to think what would happen to him if he were to dive deeper into this mess." I looked away from him, focusing on the opposite wall instead. "People die around me. I won't let one of those people be Stiles."

"Why must everything be your fault? Accidents happen. Bad things happen to good people sometimes, but that doesn't mean they are at fault for it – it doesn't mean _you_ are at fault for it," Deaton reassured, pity clear his voice. He doesn't understand and he never will. I'm at fault for so much and I didn't need his pity. This guilt was mine to bear and I didn't need him to try to soften it. Deaton turned away from me, walking back to the counter where he had several vials lined up in a row. "You need to tell Stiles."

"That's a bit selfish, isn't? Forcing all of this on him, just so I can live?" I snapped. I didn't want Stiles to be with me out of pity – only because he truly wanted to.

"How do you know he doesn't to be with you? Have you asked him?" Touché. I was silent, trying to calm the burning that singed in the pit of my stomach. "That's what I thought."

"It's better for him – he's better without me."

"Isn't that also his decision? Shouldn't you let him make the choice on whether he wants this or not?" Deaton turned back to me with a concoction in his hands. I wanted to be angry with him. _Hell_, I wanted to hate him. But he was right about everything. Stiles was everything to me and we needed each other – and I was the one ruining everything by keeping this from him. "Drink," Deaton said, handing me the concoction.

"What is it?" I asked, scrunching up my nose in disgust because of the God awful smell.

"It will help with the pain. It's only temporary though. For this to stop, you have to make the mating official. If not, you will die, Derek," Deaton said, emphasizing the consequences that await, if I continue to deny Stiles. But not anymore – I'm done fighting against what was so obviously meant to be, so tonight I was going to tell Stiles everything.

I drank the concoction quickly, almost gagging at the taste. After the liquid slithered down my throat, the agonizing afflictions lessened to a barely tolerable level. At least now I could walk on my own, rather than using people and objects as a crutch. I walked out of the clinic to find that Isaac was still here. He was leaning against the car, pretending that he found the rocks on the ground incredibly interesting at the moment.

"You were listening." I said. Isaac looked up from the ground to meet me with guilty eyes. Either I was too drained or didn't care, but I just nodded my head, walking over to the passenger's side.

"So, are you going to go see him?" Isaac asked innocently, playing with his fingers as he rested his arms on the hood of the car.

"Yeah and I need you to drive me to his house." Isaac nodded his head as I stepped into the car, Isaac following soon after. "And one more thing, you need to keep this to yourself." I demanded.

Isaac grinned lightly to himself, turning the ignition as the car roared to life. "Don't worry; you can trust me."

* * *

After Isaac drove off, I climbed the tree carefully, still weak and in pain. After several minutes, I finally made it onto the roof. Okay, here it goes. I tapped the glass to Stiles' window, causing him to jump from his desk. His hand was against his chest, breathing heavily before he turned his head towards the window. He clenched his jaw, tightly, and rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed to find me behind the glass. Stiles walked, reluctantly, over to the window, muttering under his breath.

"Derek, what the hell? Are you trying to give me a heart attack? What are you doing here?" Stiles hissed as he opened the window, allowing me to slip through.

"Sorry, I thought I was being courteous this time by actually knocking first." I mumbled, nerves swallowing up all of my confidence.

"Yeah, well most people knock on doors at a reasonable time - not on windows when it is pitch black like some kind of creeper." Stiles folded his arms across his chest, leaning his back against the wall. As I stood in his room, I began to feel the pain subside to a dull ache; a huge relief from the unrelenting tearing and burning from before. I guess being around him lessened the pain. The proximity made me better, which explains why I felt these afflictions right after leaving him, denying the claim each time.

If you told me a few months ago that I would be standing awkwardly in Stiles' room, trying to calm my mess of nerves while Stiles stood, confidently, scowling at me, I would have darted a cold glare in your direction, followed by a threat that involved me tearing off one of your limbs with my teeth. But now, that's the picture that was being painted as I was searching for the right words to say. "I know. It just couldn't wait any longer."

"What couldn't wait any longer?" He asked as he shrugged his shoulders impatiently.

"I..._uhm_...this isn't easy to say or explain." I sighed, having trouble forming coherent, complete sentences. Stiles stared at me to continue, now fully engaged into what I was about to say. "On the night that I became the Alpha, my wolf and I realized something. We..._I _realized that you're...my mate." Stiles mouth gaped a bit, his eyes becoming all the more larger.

"You're what?"

"Mate. We're mates." I blew out a hard breath before continuing. "You are the most important thing to me. Your life is more important than my own and no one will ever mean to me the way you do. There will be no other; just you." Stiles stared at me, wide eyed and speechless. He slumped against the wall and ran a hand over his face slowly. "I know this is a lot to take in, but there's more." I sighed to myself, already knowing that everything I was saying was overwhelming him, but I couldn't stop. It was like I had diarrhea of the mouth, unable to stop the flow of words. It's like, in that moment, I shared Stiles' trait of word vomit. "Our mating is different from the usual kind - we're true mates. I didn't know such a thing existed until today when Deaton told me. We are...the exact definition of soul mates. We are only complete together, in soul and spirit. We're truly made for each other; meant to better and learn from each other. I know how crazy, frightening and even a bit corny this might sound, but it's the truth." I paused for a moment, taking a few steps forward. What I was about to say, I haven't said in years. Truth be told, the word scared the hell out of me and for so long, I convinced myself that it was an ugly lie that only stupid, naive people believed in. When I did say it before, I never really knew the meaning of the word. When I uttered the word before, I was a child, confusing lust with something more. But now, I have never believed so much in it, so I was no longer afraid to say it aloud – and it was all because of Stiles. I stepped closer towards him as his eyes remained glued to the floor. His scent filled my nostrils, the famaliar musk filling me with warmth. I placed my hand under his chin, lifting his head to look at me while resting my other hand on his arm. When green finally met brown, the words spilled out of my mouth without regret or caution. "I love you."

Stiles stared at me; his eyes held a confused and bewildered expression until they began to glint with anger. "You knew that we were mates since you became Alpha? For almost two months you've felt this way?" I nodded my head cautiously. "You selfish son of a bitch," Stiles growled, pushing me away from him as he rubbed a hand over his head.

"Wha-"

"You've known about us being mates and that you've 'loved' me all this time and didn't care to let me in on this little piece of information?"

"It isn't that simple, Stiles. I tried to deny all of this and push you away, because you have a life and future away from this town and werewolves. You can do or _be_ anything you want. I wasn't going to put you in any more danger and hold you back because of the mating or how I feel."

"I only wanted to be with you! And it's not all about how you feel! What about me, Derek? How about what I feel? For months the only thing I could think about was you - being with you, holding you. I felt like I couldn't breathe unless you were near me. I felt like I was going insane and this entire time, you've been keeping the truth from me." He looked away from me for a moment, not wanting me to see that tears began to swell in his eyes. "This is not just your choice; it was mine too and you tried to take that away from me."

"Stiles, I was trying to protect you. I did it for y-"

"I'm not a child anymore, Derek! I can make my own decisions. I'm not five years old, needing you to hold my hand as we cross the street and tell me what to do. I'm capable of deciding what I want on my own." Stiles' eyes were overwhelming with tears as his voice became thick and strangled. "But no. You decided for the both of us that this shouldn't happen - that this is what's best. So you allowed me to believe that no one wanted me - that you didn't want me when all I wanted was you. You knew how alone I felt and yet, you let me believe that I was nothing to you."

"Stiles-"

"I can't believe I fell in love with such an asshole like you." Stiles cried, not caring how he looked or sounded. He was hurt and I was the cause of all his pain. "Leave."

"No."

"_No_? I want you to leave, Derek." Stiles stepped towards me, our chest only a few inches apart, gesturing towards the window.

"I'm not leaving you."

"I want you to leave, Derek! Leave! Go!" Stiles was beating against my chest, trying to push me towards the window. I tried to touch his face, but he slapped me across the cheek, still shoving his fist on my chest. I didn't stop him, because I deserved it. I let him continue to throw his fists against my body, letting his tears and cries ring out. I tried to stay strong but witnessing how badly I had hurt him caused my lower lip to quiver, the sour taste of tears collecting in my throat. "Please leave, because I can't stand to even look at you right now." Stiles whispered through his rough, hoarse voice bringing his eyes up to meet mine. His eyes - his innocent, brown eyes had lost all their life and I've never seen him look so broken. The sight sent an unrelenting stabbing sensation to my chest. In that moment, it felt as if my heart was crumbling. I listened for his heartbeat, praying that he was lying - that he really did want me to stay with him. There were no ticks or upbeats - the rhythm was slow, even and steady. He was telling the truth: he wanted me to leave and he couldn't bear to look at my face.

A few tears began to stream down my cheeks as I tried to steady my voice. "I'm sorry."

"Just go."

"Please, Stiles." I begged quietly, afraid that my voice would crack under the pressure.

"_Go_." His voice was barely audible, but I heard him loud and clear.

I nodded my head, ashamed of myself and all the pain I had caused him. I walked over to the window, stopping just before it, turning to look back at Stiles one last time. Stiles turned his head away when I looked towards him, refusing to make eye contact with me. I bowed my head in shame, truly disgusted with myself, before leaping out of the window - and possibly out of Stiles' life forever.

_**Bonjour!**_

_**Man, if I thought you were going to hate me before with the last chapter, than you must really hate me right now. xD This chapter took some time, because I kept revising and revising and revising, until I got it right. So I hope you like it :) And again, please excuse any errors or typos. Like I said, I always end up missing some. **_

_**Thank you so much for the amazing reviews and feedback. You guys are incredible :D**_

_**I'm not really sure when I'll be able to write the next chapter, because I'm really behind on my summer work Dx Procrastination at its best. **_

_**So review and just let me have it xDD**_

_**Enjoy!**_


	8. Chapter 8

I was barely 40 feet away from Stiles' house when the afflictions flared up again in my limbs. But this pain was nothing. It was minute compared to the horrible, agonizing sensation of knowing that I was the one who had caused Stiles so much pain.

"_You selfish son of a bitch."_

"_All I wanted was you!"_

"_You let me feel like I was nothing to you."_

"_Leave."_

"_I can't stand to look at you right now."_

His tears, his anger, his broken voice – I was the one who caused all of it. I never thought I was capable of hurting him when all I wanted was to protect him. But no, I pushed him away and when I finally realized that I was wrong, it was too late. He hated me now and I deserved this. All this time he felt as if no one wanted him, like no one would ever pick him as their first choice, when all this time he was my choice and I kept that from him. I let him feel like he was nothing to me when I was everything to him. Whatever pain comes, I deserve all of it and I deserve to suffer it alone. Maybe when it is all over, I'll finally be at peace, because in all honesty, I don't think I'll be able to survive his kind of heartbreak.

* * *

"Derek?" Isaac's brow furrowed as he watched me descend down the staircase. "What are you doing here? Where's Stiles?" I can't even describe the sharp stab in my chest I felt when I heard his name.

"He's at home and we're nothing." I walked past Isaac in a rush, causing my head to spin and my feet to stumble over each other. Isaac grabbed onto my arm, steadying me. I winced as I felt my legs giving out, fighting hard to hold onto some kind of control over my weakened body. However, I began to slump more into Isaac until he threw my arm over his shoulders, carrying me over to my mattress inside the subway car. Isaac laid me carefully down on the mattress, fear and panic written all over his face.

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Isaac asked, kneeling at the bed side as I was lying on my back.

"Exactly that – nothing. He doesn't want this. He hates me and there's nothing I could do." I said focusing on the ceiling rather than the burning in my chest.

"Hate you? That doesn't make any sense. Deaton said…"

"I know what Deaton said, but it's over! It's done, so drop it." I snapped, glaring over at Isaac. Isaac closed his mouth quickly, detaching his eyes from mine shamefully. My eyes softened at the sight of Isaac, who resembled a kicked puppy. "I'm sor-"

"I know. It's okay." Isaac nodded, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly before he exited the subway car. Stiles was right; I am an asshole and that's why I'm going to die alone.

* * *

"So let me get this straight: Derek, the all powerful and mighty Alpha, is dying? _What the fuck?_" Erica shrieked. Boyd, Isaac and Erica were standing by the staircase as I was still lying down on my mattress in the subway car. Boyd and Erica stopped by for their training session, but when they saw that I was immobile on my mattress, Isaac stepped in to explain to them what has been happening. Isaac has been staying here for the past few days, trying to make me as comfortable as possible with the pain of my deteriorating body. My condition has gotten worse - slight movement paralyzed me with pain; so much pain that I almost feel numb. "I can't believe that you're telling me that he's going to die from little heart break? Boo-_fucking_-hoo."

"Have you been listening to anything I've been telling you? It's the mating – it's much more than puppy love. How stupid can you be?" Isaac said, becoming annoyed with Erica's insensitive attitude.

"Well then, why don't we just find the bitch and make her be with Derek? Problem solved." I heard Erica begin to walk up the stairs.

"It's not that simple-"

"Who is it? I'll go get her." Erica demanded. Isaac remained quiet, knowing that I wanted to keep Stiles safe and under the radar. And I sure as hell didn't want Erica going after Stiles in a half-hearted attempt to save me. Boyd remained quiet as well, peering into the window of the subway car with an apologetic, knowing look. "Well?"

"It doesn't matter who it is; just drop it." Isaac said sternly. I heard him shuffle towards the subway car until Erica caught him by the arm.

"What do you mean 'drop it'?! Our Alpha is dying; what are we supposed to do if he dies? Boyd and I – we still have our families. Who will you have when he's gone?" Erica spat. She knew exactly what she was doing; manipulating Isaac to confess my mate's name.

Isaac's heartbeat began to accelerate, but I knew it was more than anger. It was his fear and realization that his whole family was gone and that if it wasn't for this pack, he'd truly be alone. And without an Alpha, this pack has the potential of falling apart and Isaac will have no one. Isaac sighed deeply before he spoke, "This isn't about me. So I'll say it again, _drop it_."

Isaac walked into the subway car and took a seat across from the mattress. Boyd and Erica lingered in the basement for a few more moments until they finally left. Once I heard the door close, I became fearful that Boyd would tell Erica who my mate was. I didn't want any one of them to fetch Stiles and force him to be with me, when it would only lead to resentment. Even if that didn't work, I didn't want Erica blaming Stiles for what was happening to me. I convinced myself that Boyd and Isaac would keep this to themselves, but Erica was a bit of a wild card.

Isaac peered over at me with a conflicted expression however his eyes seemed vacant, obviously replaying Erica's words in his head. "Isaac, thank you," I said, my voice barely whisper.

Isaac nodded solemnly."You're welcome."

"I know you're scared."

"I, just…I thought by receiving the bite and becoming part of your pack, I would finally have a family. But I guess I'm just not that lucky." Isaac laughed, darkly, trying to conceal a deep sadness.

* * *

Metal. _Cold_, _hard_ metal – that's what I'm surrounded by. No emotional attachments or memories inside this subway car. Just a rusted, broken down car that threatens to suffocate me with its thick, humid air. Is this really the place I was going to spend my last few moments? I only have a few days, maybe a week tops, before everything – before _I_ slip away. I continued to glance over at the blackened railings and filthy seats, never feeling so low in my life. I don't want to die here. I want to die in a place I used to call home – my home. A place where Laura and I used to play hide and seek, using our keen senses to track one another down. A place where my mom, with her similar raven black hair, would teach Laura how to cook a meal for the family, while my father taught me how to pursue prey in the surrounding woods. A place where the rest of my family died – it would seem right to end our line there.

"Isaac?"

"Yeah," Isaac replied, poking his head through the doorway of the car.

"I need you to take me to my house."

"For?"

"To die," I grunted, slowly starting to sit up, swallowing back the wince of pain trying to push past my lips. The agony was pulsating through me, but I couldn't stay here any longer. I won't let myself die here. Isaac hurried to my side, helping me to sit up.

"Derek-"

"Please Isaac, I can't be here when it happens."

Isaac stared at me sorrowfully, swallowing a lump that had formed in his throat. "If I take you there, can I stay with you? I really don't want you to be alone," Isaac said, hesitantly. I may have made a lot of mistakes as Alpha, but I knew one thing for sure – Isaac wasn't one of them.

I nodded, before swinging my legs slowly over the edge, planting my feet on the ground. Isaac wrapped his arm around my waist and threw my arm over his shoulder. Isaac lifted me from the mattress as carefully and painlessly as possible before we began shuffling out of the subway car. Once we made it to the doorway, there he was, standing at the foot of the stairs as he awkwardly played with his fingers. _Stiles_.

The moment he noticed my condition, he hurried towards me before I could even get a word out. "Oh my God, what happened to you?" Stiles asked, his voice saturated in panic.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered as Isaac let go of my body, letting Stiles hold me up instead. As Isaac turned to leave, I could have sworn I saw the corners of his mouth turn up.

"I'm not even really sure. These past few days have been hell so I decide to go for a walk. Before I knew it, I was outside the warehouse. It felt like I was being pulled here." Stiles stared deeply in my eyes with his arm wrapped around my back while he rested his other hand on the nook of my neck. Stiles sighed before closing his eyes, resting his forehead against mine as I inhaled his scent. Relief washed over me, the trembling and ache in my limbs subsiding rapidly. Once I regained full control of my arms, I wrapped them around Stiles' waist, pulling him closer to my body. His warmth and scent completely entranced me. "Derek, what's happening to you?"

"I'm dying," I said not really thinking before speaking.

"What? You-you're dying?" Stiles eyes were glossing over, a subtle quiver beginning to form in his chin. His heart was beating erratically and if he didn't calm down, he could have had a heart attack.

"No! No! No! I'm okay. I'm okay now. You're here now. I'm okay."

Stiles looked taken back a bit. "What do you mean 'now that I'm here'? Am I the reason you're…"

"Shhh, look at me. I'll explain everything. But first I need to lie down." Even though having Stiles close did better my condition, I was still extremely weak and I didn't fully trust my body not to collapse. Stiles nodded, helping me to walk over to the mattress. I sat down slowly, a small amount of pain still lingering in my back. Stiles held onto my torso, helping me to lie on my back, comfortably. Stiles sat on the edge of the bed, still hovering over me with one arm leaning on the mattress next to my head and the other tangled in my hair. I placed my hand on his lower back, pushing him closer to me as I buried my face in the nook of his neck. Stiles shuddered from my hot breath tickling the sensitive area.

"Stop stalling and level with me," Stiles said suppressing a whine of content as he pulled away from me slightly so we could be face to face.

"Remember when I said that our mating was different? And that were halves of each other?" Stiles nodded for me to continue. "Since I denied you and the claim, my whole being was denied of its other half. I was depriving myself of my soul mate, so I began to die. My body and soul were withering away because I wouldn't give in to you."

"Why didn't I feel it then?" Stiles asked.

"Because the Alpha is the one who first recognizes the mating, which means I'm more affected by it than you are. Stiles.." I paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. Stiles' eyes were guarded and I hated that he was protecting himself from me. "I need you but not just because of the mating. Because I can't imagine my life without you or even your blunt and pestering rambling. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think about you or about _us_."

"We really are made for each other, aren't we?" Stiles grinned lightly, brushing back my hair. I smiled at him, pulling him closer once again. "You stupid, stupid werewolf." Stiles smacked my arm playfully, pushing off of me a bit. "Why didn't you tell me? What if I hadn't come in time? Do you really think I would have survived it if you died?"

"I didn't want you to feel like you were obligated to be with me, because of what was happening. I wanted to you to be with me because it was your choice and only your choice. I tried to take away your choice once before, so I wanted this one to be your's."

"Derek, no matter how angry I might be with you – and I see that happening a lot with your stubborn werewolf ass – _you_ are my choice. You always have and you will always be," Stiles said softly.

"I'm sorry, Stiles - for everything."

"Shh, I know. I know."

I looked deeply into his brown eyes, which were once again filled with wonder and innocence, as I brought my hand up to his face, brushing my fingers against his cheek. Stiles leaned into my palm, pressing feather kisses to my fingertips. I moved my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him towards me until our lips finally met. It was a soft touch as I moved my lips against his. I ran my tongue along Stiles' bottom lip, causing him to open his mouth. Our tongues immediately found each other; Stiles put up a good for dominance but finally submitted to mine. Then, the kiss grew more heated and passionate as we began to devour each other's mouthes. I reached for Stiles' legs, pulling him to straddle me on top of the mattress. Stiles tugged my hair lightly, deepening the kiss. I moaned into his mouth causing him to whimper. The noises Stiles was making were amazing. He was moaning and whining at every touch and swipe of my tongue against his – it was driving me wild.

"Wait, we should stop," Stiles breathed, pulling away to rest his forehead against mine. He was desperately trying to catch his breath as I panted heavily, still holding him close. "You're still weak and you need to rest." Actually, the proximity and the intimacy were making me stronger. I didn't feel any pain, because I was finally with my mate. Everything felt _right_. However, I knew that I wouldn't fully recover until I claimed Stiles. But for right now, this was enough.

"Okay," I nodded. Stiles nodded as well, moving to get off of me. I pulled him back down onto me as I secured my arms over him, letting his head fall onto my chest. Stiles snuggled closer to me, draping his arm across my chest and his leg over mine. Stiles yawned quietly to himself and before he slipped into his dream state, he murmured softly, "I love you."

A wide smile spread across face. "I love you, too."

_**Ciao Bellos!**_

_**I am so sorry for making you all wait this long for the new chapter. I got really caught up in my school work and I just couldn't find the time. But I finally got a chunk of my summer work done, so here's the new chapter.**_

_**And since I took so long with updating, I gave you guys some stereky goodness ;) So, I hope you enjoy it!**_

_**And again, you guys are amazing with the reviews. Keep it up!**_

_**Let me know what you think! You guys know I love that stuff xD**_

_**Enjoy!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_Thump…_

_Thump…_

_Thump…_

God, that sounds is soothing. I never thought someone else's heartbeat would be so precious to me.

Stiles' heart was beating steady against my chest as he nuzzled his head deeper into the nook of my neck. I tightened my arms more securely around him, inhaling his scent deeply as a growl of satisfaction rumbled through my chest. Stiles sighed softly in his sleep, clutching closer to my shirt. The corners of my mouth slightly turned up, watching him intently, until they suddenly dropped.

This isn't supposed to happen for me. I am not one of those people who get that happy ending. Life just isn't that kind to me. Sure, I can have him now, but what about later? He found me and saved me from my own stupid fatal mistakes, but it's only a matter of time before something or someone rips him away from me. Or even worse, I end up hurting him beyond repair. These aren't pessimist, cynical thoughts: they're reality, a reality I know all too well and wish I could forget.

"Derek?" Stiles stared up at me with lazy, doeful eyes. His chin was resting against my torso as he ran his hand lightly up and down my side. I blinked a few times, yanking myself out of own thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, of course."

"You're lying." Stiles squinted his eyes accusingly as he lifted himself to rest on his hands on either side of my body. I opened my mouth to object when he interrupted me. "I think by now I can tell when you're lying, especially to me." The words came out harsh and cold from his lips, but one they were out there, his eyes widened with shock and guilt. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes, you did. But no, it's fine; you're right," I said sitting up, planting my feet on the ground.

"No, Derek-"

"Seriously Stiles, it's fine. I was lying." My head was slightly hanging, too ashamed to look at Stiles. Lying is what hurt him the most and yet, I keep doing it. Stiles sat beside me, leg to leg, arm to arm. He placed his hand gently on my forearm, giving it a light squeeze as encouragement to continue. I sighed deeply, still reluctant to my own vulnerability. I brought my head to focus on the metal wall of the subway car rather than Stiles' eyes. "It's just…I am anticipating for when the other shoe will drop, because I know it will. People like me don't get to keep people like you."

"What do you mean 'people like me'?" Stiles asked, dropping his hand from my arm.

"Good people - people who have so much to offer. People that you only dreaming of loving someday and hope that they love you back. I'm not supposed to have that. I'm not supposed to have that kind of happiness and love, or any for that matter. It'll only end up being ruined by something, or I'll fuck it up all by myself." I was closely staring at Stiles, waiting for his reaction. There was a crease in forehead – a clear sign of irritation- and his mouth was slightly agape. He looked away from me, swallowing a lump that had formed in his throat. He seemed to be having an internal battle, inhaling long, deep breaths. The he abruptly turned towards me.

"I'm not going anywhere, Derek." His eyes were large, intense and determined. "Do you understand me? I'm here, with you and not because some fucking bond tells me to. I'm here of my own choice. I'm here because I love you. I love you, Derek. I know there will be obstacles, that's a given in any relationship, but as long as we're willing to fight together – to fight for each other- everything will be alright."

"You can't promise me something like that. You can't promise that I'll never lose you." I whispered, too afraid that my voice would falter.

"Well, I am." Stiles grabbed both sides of my faces, looking deeply into my eyes. I had no recant to his argument, none what so ever, because there wasn't one.

"I love you." I breathed the words onto his mouth, before capturing his lips between mine. The kiss was light and gentle as our lips moved slowly against each other. I didn't want to devour his mouth or make it overly passionate with hunger; I wanted the kiss to emulate the moment we just shared – intimate and raw.

Our kiss was broken at the sound of Stiles' phone vibrating in his pocket. When he retrieved his phone, his eyes were bulging at the screen.

"Oh my God, I'm so fucked." _Not yet, _my wolf cooed. Stop it!

"What?"

"Either my dad butt dialed me 13 times last night, or he's having a shit fit, trying to find me. I have to head home." Stiles rambled as he hastily threw on his shoes. Stiles became so consumed in his thoughts and panic that he forgot about my presence as he made his way for the stairs. I stood up to catch up with him, wanting to sneak one last kiss before he left. I only took a few steps before he suddenly turned around, jumped down from the first few stairs, rushing over to me. He grabbed the back of my neck, forcefully, pressing his lips to mine. I grabbed his hips, bringing them to my own as I eagerly returned the kiss. Before I could deepen it, he detached his lips from mine in a heavy pant. "Okay, now I can go."

Stiles wiggled out of my grasp, ascending up the stairs once again. I, however, wasn't going to let him go that easily. Once he reached the garage door, I turned him to face me, pinning him up against the door with my body. Stiles opened his mouth to protest, but was quickly silenced as I took that as my opportunity to plunge my tongue inside his mouth. Stiles groaned at the touch of my tongue against his, wrapping his arms around neck. My arms were circled around his waist, resting one of my hands on the delicious curve of his ass. He whimpered when I gave it a light squeeze. I then moved my lips to his jaw, pressing kisses all the way down to his neck and up behind his earlobe, where he moaned softly. I attached my lips to the spot, sucking and biting at the area. Stiles kept moaning and whimpering my name as I mercilessly made my mark on him. Once I was satisfied with it, I licked the swollen area while Stiles struggled to regulate his breathing.

"Okay, now you can go." I smirked at him, resting my forehead against his.

"Tease," Stiles breathed, suppressing the corners of his mouth from turning up. I smirked at him again, leaving one last peck on his lips before he really did have to go.

As Stiles drove away, I looked on with strange expression on my face. It was the look of untainted, true happiness. It made my facial muscles hurt to smile so wide, but it was an ache that I was more than happy to endure.

* * *

_**Okay, I already know you all hate me. I hate me, too. I just got really busy with school. Whoever said senior year is laidback is a dirty, filthy liar. Anyways, I wanted to give you guys something because I was consumed with so much guilt. This is kind of a filler, but I liked the beginning with Derek and Stiles' talk. I hope guys did, too.**_

_**I'll try my hardest to update sooner, especially since the next chapter will have Sterek smutty goodness ;)**_

_**I was going to make this a super long chapter with the smut, but I'm still getting over the flu and I wasn't in the right state of mind to write a good smutty scene for you guys. Next time, I promise ;)**_

_**Please don't give up on me; you guys are absolutely amazing.**_

_**Please review! I love you guys 3**_

_**btw, please forgive any errors.**_


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